The Fault in Our Stars 2


Theodore… Taran Killam

Olive… Sarah Silverman

Terrence Howard… Kenan Thompson

[Starts with a clip of Fault In Our Starts]

Male voice: From the makers of Fault In Our Stars. [Cuts to clips from another movie] Comes in all new film about heartbreak, and teenage love against the odds.

[Theodore and Olive look at each other. They are in the hospital and they show the patient band to each other.]

Based on the best selling novel.

Theodore: What’s your name?

Olive: Olive.

Theodore: I’m Theodore. At your service. [Olive laughs] [Theodore and Olive shake their hands] [Cut to Theodore and Olive walking around holding hands. Theodore is walking around with oxygen cylinder with her.]

Olive: When I said I’d do anything to get out of high school, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.

Theodore: Tell me your story.

Olive: Well, when I was first diagnosed, I didn’t really–

Theodore: No. Tell me your real story.

Male voice: Because being sick doesn’t have to be a life sentence.

Theodore: I know that love is just a shouting at the void and that oblivion is inevitable. But, I’m sticking with you no matter what kind of cancer you have.

Olive: No, I don’t have cancer. I have Ebola.

[audience laughing]

Theodore: [shocked] Oh!

Male voice: It’s “The Fault In Our Stars 2: The Ebola In Our Everything.”

[Cut to Theodore moving away from Olive]

Sometimes the most contagious disease is love.

[Olive smiles at Theodore] [Cut to Theodore in the farm at night]

Olive: Maybe we should as your doctor if this is okay.

[Cut to Olive]

Olive: If doctors know so much than why doctor dead from Ebola?

[Cut to Theodore fake smiling and walking away]

Male voice: The movie that LA Times calls, “Astonishing.” And the World Health Organization calls, “Plausible.”

[Cut to Olive looking at the stars]

Olive: I just live for these little infinities with you.

[Cut to Theodore]

Theodore: Uh-huh.

[Cut to Olive]

Olive: Can you hear me? You’re so far away.

[Cut to Theodore and Olive both lying on the ground but they are far away]

Theodore: I’m good.

Male voice: USA Today says, “I laughed. I panicked. I mostly panicked.”

Olive: Let’s just travel the world. Get on a plane or a crowded bus and just go.

Theodore: Oh! That’s not a good idea.

Olive: Is this a good idea?

[Olive moves forward to kiss Theodore. Theodore is about to cry being scared.] [Cut to Terrence Howard ]

Male voice: With Terrence Howard as the trusted guidance counselor.

Terrence Howard : It’s not how long you live, it’s how you live it.

[Cut to Theodore]

Theodore: She wants to have sex.

Terrence Howard : Hell, no!

Theodore: Just a tip?

Terrence Howard : [thinks for a moment] Maybe.

[Cut to Olive undressing herself.] [Cut to Theodore undressing himself but he’s wearing hospital suit from the inside.]

Male voice: The Fault In Our Stars 2: The Ebola In Our Everything. Because you can’t quarantine your heart.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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