Thero… Pete Davidson
King… Bill Hader[Starts with clips of a man breathing fast in a broken elevator.] [Slowly the ceiling opens. There are people looking down to you.] [Kyle jumps in]
Kyle: Hey, semi. Welcome to Gray World.[Kyle gives Thero a bag] [Cut to Thero looking around. The place is surrounded by a wall.]
Male voice: This fall.
Thero: What is this place?[Cut to Thero and Beck walking and looking at the wall]
It looks post-apocalyptic or something.
Beck: The metal fields. This is where the semi stayed where the groupers passed them on to the shorties for sorting.
Thero: What’s over those walls?[Sasheer walks in]
Sasheer: Nothing much, except the death virus.
Male voice: From the director of Maze Runner. The producer of Divergent. And a casual fan of The Giver.[Cut to Kyle following Thero in a field]
Kyle: Smooth move, kid. Showing up on category day! Now you’re gonna get put into category, no matter what. [Kyle throws a bag to Thero again]
Male voice: Adapted from YA novel, written entirely in the comment section of a Hunger Games trailer.[Cut to Thero and Sasheer]
Sasheer: Who are you anyway?
Thero: My name’s Thero. I never met my parents but my name’s tattooed at my back.[Thero opens his shirt.] [Cut to Beck walking to Thero]
Beck: Wait a second. That doesn’t say Thero.
Thero: What does it say?
Beck: The Hero.[Cut to an Asian man]
Asian man: Destiny!
Male voice: A hero will rise.
King: You are all the same. There’s nothing special or unique about any of you. And now, you’ll be put into groups.[Cut to Thero]
Thero: What does he mean, ‘groups’.[Cut to Sasheer]
Sasheer: There is the emotionals, the foodies, the acidics and gryffindor.[Cut to Thero]
Thero: When I grow up, I wanna be a freelander.
Sasheer: But you can’t. You were born as circumscriber and [Cut to Sasheer] and you always be.
Thero: But what if I wasn’t.[Cut to Sasheer]
Sasheer: You’re right. You’re not. [Cut to Thero and Sasheer holding hands.] And I love you.
Thero: Dope.[Cut to King]
King: You’ll be given even dirtier clothes arranged in lines. And you must obey me. Because I am your king. Or queen. You’ll figure it out.[Sound of a metal rod being dragged on a floor is coming while King is trying to move.] [King is struggling to move.] [The bodyguards try to help.]
I got it! I got it! Thank you.
Male voice: A system will fall.
Thero: We’ve got to find a way out of here.
Sasheer: Even if you made it through, you still have to survive the lurkies. And they are lurking everywhere.
Beck: And you can only kill a lurky with a zoomerang. [Cut to Beck] But, nobody’s seen one of those for a thousand years to the day.[Cut to Kyle]
Kyle: Unrelated. Do you have any necklaces?
Thero: Just this one.[Thero shows his necklace. It has a shape of boomerang.]
Sasheer: You’re the chosen one. And I’m a virgin pregnant with your baby.[Cut to Thero]
Thero: Well, that sucks![Cut to King walking in his castle wit his bodyguards.]
King: Bring me the one they call Thero. Dead or alive. But preferably alive. Right? Boop![Cut to Kyle, Thero, Beck and Sasheer]
Beck: It’s still lurkies. Quick, let’s hide in the dream swamp.
Kyle: We can’t, swampsters!
Thero: Then we’ve only got one choice. [Showing his boomerang necklace] We fight![Cut to an Asian man]
Asian man: Zoomerang![Cut to the people running]
Male voice: On October Kyle0th, meet The Group Hopper.
Thero: We will not be categoried!
Male voice: Put him in a group and he’ll hop his ass right out.[Cut to Thero]
Thero: Hey lurky! [Cut to a goat with a helmet on] It’s time to change the world.[Thero throws the zoomerang at the lurky. The zoomerang just falls under the lurky, but it blasts when the lurky steps on it.] [Cut to an Asian man]
Asian man: What?
Male voice: The Group Hopper. Rated G for asexual kissing.