Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with Michael Che in his set. There is a picture of Dennis Rodman and Kenneth Bae at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Dennis Rodman is claiming that a letter he sent to his friend Kim Jong Un helped free American aid-worker Kenneth Bae from a North Korean prison. The letter read simply, “Bae- Free Bae. Love, Bae.”
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of broken satellite at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: The European space agency said that the landing of a space craft on a comet this week was rougher than they initially thought with the pro bouncing twice before landing. “Only twice?” said the [Picture changes to Spirit Airlines] Spirit Airlines.
[Picture changes to radioshack]
Radioshack announced that it will open for Black Friday sales at 8 am on thanksgiving day. Great news for fans of radioshack’s most popular item, directions to Bestbuy.
[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Bill Clinton and George W. Bush at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Former presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush spent the week teasing each other on social media with Clinton asking how Bush isn’t on twitter yet and Bush asking how Clinton wasn’t on Instagram. [Picture changes to Jimmy Carter] All while Jimmy Carter once against spent his week plowing through tinder.
[Picture changes to a marijuana leaves]
As more states have voted to legalize marijuana, many employers still have a zero-tolerance policy for firing workers that used the drug. This according to a letter I got from Lorne.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Buddy Valastro at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: Buddy Valastro, the star of the reality show “Cake Boss” was arrested in Manhattan on charges of drunk driving and allegedly told officers, “You can’t arrest me. I’m the Cake Boss.” Which might have worked if those officers were cakes.
[Picture changes to Bill De Blasio and Ebola virus]
At a press conference this week, New York city mayor Bill De Blasio said the doctor diagnosed with Ebola is now cured. Adding “the New York city is Ebola Free”. We’ll see about that said Time Square Elmos.
[Picture changes to a theme park.]
A theme park in England has banned all single people from entering the park to protect children from possible pedophiles. So, let this be a lesson to all you pedophiles out there, start working in teams.
[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of New Jersey map.]
Michael Che: It’s a good advice. Police in New Jersey are searching for an African gray parrot that was stolen from a local zoo. Of course, New Jersian African Gray Parrot is just a pegion in a dashiki.
