Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with Michael Che in his set. There is a picture of Joe Biden at right top corner.]
Michael Che: At a White House technology event, vice president Joe Biden told the group of girls writing computer code that they were as smart as any boy in the world. And then he turned around and walked directly into a sliding glass door.
[Cut to Colin Jost. There is a picture of McDonald’s at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: McDonald’s has released a video online to prove the chicken McNuggets are made out of real chicken. And not as the taste suggests, pigeons that committed suicide.
[Picture changes to a lottery ticket.]
A convicted sex offender has won more than $2 million in the state lottery. At which point he shouted, “I’m going 200 feet from Disney World.”
[Cut to Michael Che. There is a picture of Rick Perry.]
Michael Che: In a recent interview, Texas governor Rick Perry said that running for the presidency is not an IQ test. [Picture changes to George Bush] Of course its not a IQ test. [Picture changes to Bill Clinton] And it’s also not a lie detector test. [Picture changes to Richard Nixon] Or an ethics test. [picture changes to Franklin D. Roosevelt] or a footrace.
[Picture changes to Cuba Gooding Jr. and OJ Simpson]
Cuba Gooding Jr. has been cast as OJ Simpson in a new mini series about the football player’s murder trial. Gooding is still best known, of course, for his famous catch phrase, “I need the work, man!”
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