Weekend Update Pete Davidson


Michael Che

Pete Davidson

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set]

Michael Che: After having problems last year, the BET ne2rk has announced a ‘No guns’ policy for their Michael Che0Pete Davidson4 Hip Hop Awards. Here to comment is a hip hop fan, Pete Davidson.

[cheers and applause] [Pete Davidson slides in]

Pete Davidson: Yo, what up?

Michael Che: Pete, why does an award show need a ‘No guns’ policy?

Pete Davidson: Well, what people need to understand is that this type of behavior happens when you wear a gold chain. [Cut to Pete Davidson] I did something stupid this summer. I bought this gold chain. I really bought it. And here’s some advice I wish I knew when buying a gold chain. The fake ones look exactly like the real ones. I also notice that your chain is your personality. Like, it gives you too much confidence. Like, buying the chain was stupid because I already have rapper posture. You know, rappers have bad posture because they wear these gold chains and it weighs them down. I have bad posture because I hate myself.

I bought it because I was watching MTV and my favorite rapper came on. His name is 2 Chainz. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him. He’s a real person. You know? You know he’s a real person because he says he’s real in every song. Like, out of nowhere, he’ll just be like, “I’m real.” Oh, my god! I had no idea, 2 Chainz. This whole time.

Anyways, I was watching 2 Chainz and in the middle of the rap song, he just goes, “You’re a bitch if you ain’t got a chain.” And I was like, “Well, I’m not a bitch.” So, I went out and I spent half of my net worth on this gold chain. It was just a bad decision. I can’t wear this outside. I’m 6’3″, Pete Davidson45 pounds. I have a problem with wind. Plus, if I wear a gold chain, I will get stoned immediately. I might as well walk through the hood with it and scream, “Dinner’s ready.” So now, I just wear it around the house so that it gives me confidence.

[Cut to Michael Che and Pete Davidson]

Michael Che: Well, does it work?

Pete Davidson: Yeah! Like, yesterday I was eating my dinner and I couldn’t finish it. So, I put the chain on and I finished it.

Michael Che: Pete Davidson, everybody!

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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