Willie… Kenan Thompson[Starts with Michael Che in his set.]
Michael Che: It’s the holiday season. And I for one have not been feeling holiday spirit. Here with his thoughts on the holidays is the most positive guy I know, my neighbor Willie.[Willie slides in]
Willie: Ay! Ay! Don’t you feel the spirit, Michael? It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Michael Che: I honestly don’t, Willie. It’s cold out. Everything is crowded.
Willie: Oh, but Michael, life is good. [Cut to Willie] And you gotta appreciate it coz like the doctors always say, “I don’t know what that is, Willie, but it’s spreading.”[Cut to Willie and Michael Che]
Michael Che: Your doctor said that? Are you okay?
Willie: Ay! I’m better than okay. I’m alright. [Cut to Willie] Sure, things aren’t perfect. Money is a little tight. But things can always be worse. It’s like my daddy always told me, “Son, things just got worse.” And you know, he was always right.[Cut to Willie and Michael Che]
Michael Che: That sounds horrible, man!
Willie: Look, [Cut to Willie] I may not be the richest man, I may not have grown up with Hollywood luxuries, like limousines or matching shoes or kidneys, but it was like my pastor always says, “You can’t sleep here, Willie.”[Cut to Willie and Michael Che] [Cut to Willie and Michael Che]
Michael Che: Oh, I am sorry, Willie.
Willie: Ay! The point is, Christmas is the best time of the year, Michael. [Cut to Willie] All of the bright lights are flashing. The bells ringing. The taste of a spoon holding your tongue. All the little children running around yelling, “Mama, I think old Willie is having an episode.”[Cut to Willie and Michael Che]
Michael Che: That really happened to you on Christmas?
Willie: It happens to all of us.
Michael Che: No, man! It doesn’t.
Willie: Well, you know what I think of Christmas? I think of my old dog Lucias. Boy did he love the snow. Last Christmas eve, [Cut to Willie] I took him off his lease so he can play in the snow. And he just ran and ran and ran and ran till I couldn’t see him anymore. But it’s like they always say, “You can forget about that dog, Willie.”
Michael Che: Ay, you know what? I feel better man. You did it. You cured. You know what? [giving Willie some money] Take this too. Ay man, Merry Christmas.
Willie: [crying] Oh, man! This changes everything. A holiday miracle like this reminds me of an old saying.
Michael Che: What’s that?
Willie: “You gonna mess this money up too, Willie.”
Michael Che: Willie, everyone!
Willie: Merry Christmas.
Michael Che: Merry Christmas.