Woody Harrelson
Liam Hemsworth
Josh Hutcherson
Jennifer Lawrence
[Starts with SNL monologue intro]Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Woody Harrelson.
[The band is playing music] [1 walks in and to the stage.] [cheers and applause]Woody Harrelson: Thank you. Thank you. It’s so great to be standing here. In fact, there’s 25 years almost to the day since the first time I hosted Saturday Night Live in 1989. I just heard Taylor Swift album which is called 1989. But with all due respect to miss Swift, I think I know a little bit more about 1989 than she does.
[Someone hands over Woody Harrelson a guitar]Ah! Thank you. Even if the memories are a little fuzzy, because of the drugs.
[Woody Harrelson starts playing guitar and singing like the song ‘Blank Space’]Seemed like it would last forever
1989
The Berlin Wall fell down
Cher sang Turn Back Time
Michael Keaton, he was Batman
I’m not sure who was president
I think I had a molly
After that I just forget
Oh, wait! I remember
I was on a show called Cheers
Then I won an Emmy
then got drunk on million beers
thought I met Margaret Thatcher
but it was Sadam Hussain
then I got a blank space baby
coz I used to do cocaine
This is a little bit, you know, I mean it was 1989. Wow!
Hey man! Last man in year. I haven’t seen you guys since– what was that– we did that thing together. What was..
Speaker 3: The Hunger Games, man!
Speaker 2: Hunger Games.
Woody Harrelson: Oh, yeah, yeah! You guys here to help me sing the Taylor Swift song about it? 1989?
Speaker 3: Well, actually, we weren’t even alive in 1989.
Speaker 1: What? How old are you guys?
Speaker 2: Well, I’m Twentyfour. He’s twentwo.
Speaker 1: Oh, my god! I thought you guys were like, in your early fourtys.
Speaker 3: No, we just know the stuffs you told us about 1989. Like, the Berlin Wall was torn down by the Kool-Aid Man.
Speaker 2: Einstein invented wifi.
Speaker 1: [laughing] I told you that in 1989, Einstein invented wifi? That is crazy.
Speaker 4: Guys. [4 walks in] [cheers and applause]
Woody Harrelson: Oh, my god!
Speaker 4: What’s happening?
Speaker 1: I can’t believe. I mean, the real Taylor Swift. [audience laughing]
Speaker 4: Woody, I’m not Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: Hah?
Speaker 4: I’m Jennifer. We’ve done about ten Hunger Games movies together.
Speaker 1: So, yeah. I didn’t recognize you without the big purple hair.
Speaker 2: No, no, no! Woody, that’s no–
Speaker 4: Not worth it.
[Cut to Woody Harrelson and 4]Speaker 1: So, you gonna help me sing this, Jen? Or what?
Speaker 4: I don’t really think anyone wants to hear me sing. [cheers and applause] No! No! I wasn’t saying that to get your support. I don’t care. Just, when I sing, I sound like a deer that has been caught in a fence.
[Cut to 2 and 3]Speaker 2: I would say it’s more like a dog being hit by a truck.
Speaker 3: Well, like one of those goat that screams like a human. [3 screams] [Cut to everybody]
Speaker 4: I think I get the point. Yes. Woody, if you wanna sing about 89 and you don’t remember the details, just, you know, keep it vague.
[Cut to Woody Harrelson and 4]Yeah! It’s like you always say. “Hey, man! You always over think it. You just gotta [blabbers].” You’re always so stoned.
[Cut to everybody]Speaker 1: That does sound like a great advice. Okay. Two, three, four…
[music playing]89 is forever
never, it will never die
there was probably a winter
there was also 4th of July
Everybody: Everybody had a birthday
England probably had a queen
Now it’s twentyfive years later
Woody Harrelson: The year, twentysixteen.
[Cut to Woody Harrelson and 4]Speaker 4: twentysixteen, huh?
Woody Harrelson: Oh! This is so silly. I’m telling you guys, I smoked a lot of herb before I came here tonight.
[Cut to everybody]Alright, we got a great show tonight. Kendrick Lamar is here. Stick around and we will be right back. .
