3D Printed Man


Cecily Strong

Beck Bennett

Taran Killam

Matthew McConaughey

Kenan Thompson

Aidy Bryant

Jon Rudnitsky

Sasheer Zamata

[Cut to Cecily with her product presentation]

Cecily: Bio Print 3D printers are in the half the hospitals in the country. Our technology has created new ears, skin graphs and even artificial limbs. But our mission is to keep innovating. And today, we prove why we remain on the fore front of the 3D printing revolution. Because Bio Print is now the first company to 3D print an entire human man.


How realistic is this man? Well, why don’t you be the judge.

[The curtains open. there are three men sitting on the stage.]

I’d like to introduce three men to you. Two are humans, but one of them was printed with a Bio Print 3D printer. Can you tell who?

[Cut to Beck]

Beck: Hello. Am I the 3D printed man?

[Cut to Taran]

Taran: Hi there. Am I the 3D printed man?

[Cut to Bruce]

Bruce: Hi today. Am I the 3D printed man today?

[Cut to the stage]

Cecily: Clearly our 3D printed man is physically identical to a regular man. But can we 3D print human personality and emotion? Well you tell us. I invited anyone to ask our panel a question.

[Cut to Kenan in the audience]

Kenan: Well, hello to all three of you. Humans all enjoy eating. What’s your favorite food?

[Cut to Beck]

Beck: I know it’s not the healthiest choice but my weakness is buffalo wings.

[Cut to Taran]

Taran: Uh, as for me, I gotta say a good steak. Medium rare.

[Cut to Bruce]

Bruce: Who? Me? As for me, you know I’ve gotta say every single one of the bananas.

[Cut to the stage]

Cecily: Hm, yum. More questions?

[Cut to Aidy in the audience]

Aidy: Hello. I wanted to say to the one on the right. You’re different but you’re kind of cute.

[Cut to Bruce]

Bruce: I could say the same about you. Ha-ha.

[Cut to Aidy]

Aidy: Okay, wow. My question is for all of you. What’s your favorite movie?

[Cut to Taran]

Taran: Um, well I have a daughter. So, I’ll go with the Little Mermaid. It was the first movie we saw together.

[Cut to Beck]

Beck: Um, well I’m a scifi geek, so I gotta say Star Wars.

[Cut to Bruce]

Bruce: Who? Me? As for me, you know I’ve gotta say Fight House.

[Cut to Aidy]

Aidy: Yeah, I’ve never heard of Fight House.

[Cut to Bruce]

Bruce: I could say the same about you. Ha-ha.

[Cut to the stage]

Cecily: Okay. Yes, sir.

[Cut to Jon in the audience]

Jon: Hi there. Keeping our mind occupied is one thing that makes us human. What are you hobbies?

[Cut to Taran]

Taran: Um, I fish, I’m learning to cook.

[Cut to Bruce]

Bruce: Who? Me? As for me, you know, I’m gonna have to say I’m playing all the sports and using pens. That’s cool and smooth like a real sunglasses guy.

[Cut to the stage]

Cecily: Very, very funny, Bruce. Who else?

[Cut to Sasheer in the audience]

Sasheer: Can I ask what you do for a living?

[Cut to Bruce]

Bruce: Get out of here in your town with that question. You’re making a sunglasses guy like me laugh hard from my face. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh yeah.

[Cut to Beck]

Beck: Um, I’m a contractor for a petroleum company.

[Cut to Taran]

Taran: I’m in sales.

[Cut to Bruce]

Bruce: Who? Me? As for me, I sell all the t-shirts. I also like milk.

[Cut to the stage]

Cecily: Now I can tell most of you are still stumped. So let’s add a new wrinkle. Movement. Gentlemen, I’d like you all to go for a walk.

[Beck stands and walks around casually.]


[Taran stands and walks around casually.]

Okay, very nice.

[Bruce stands and walks around. He is walking around like a robot.]

Love that strud. Yes. Love that strud. Anybody up for some dancing?

[Cut to Beck and Taran. They stand and dance casually.]

Um, very nice. Looks like we got some real dancers here.

[Cut to Bruce. He is dancing wildly jumping around]

Bruce: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

[Cut to the stage]

Cecily: Bruce, stop. Stop, Bruce.

[Cut to Sasheer]

Sasheer: Is the 3D printed man Bruce?

[Cut to the stage]

Cecily: Wow. Yes. Incredible job. Now, if you want to come up here and meet Bruce, you all have about three minutes before he catches fire.

Bruce: Feeling hot.

[Bruce starts jumping around again]

Feeling hot. Feeling hot.

[The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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