Jones… Tracy Morgan
Marcina… Tina Fey[Starts with Cecily briefing an incident to her staff]
Cecily: Here’s what we know so far. At around 4:30 am yesterday our satellites detected a storm approaching the area’s three mission site on mars. The storm escalated to severe and we had no choice but to abort the mission. But during the evacuation, one of our men was lost. We’ll give you more information as we get it.[Taran walks in]
Taran: Captain, you need to see something.[Cut to Kate on a computer. Taran and Cecily walk in.]
Kate: This is the Satellite feed of Mars right now.
Taran: Look at those robo tracks. Someone has been moving around up there.
Cecily: What are you saying?
Taran: It’s him.
Cecily: That’s impossible.
Taran: He’s still alive up there.
Cecily: He died in the storm.
Kate: Oh, my god. We just received an incoming video message from Mars.
Cecily: This can’t be happening.
Taran: Play it. Play the message.[Cut to the video message. It’s an astronaut without his space helmet in outer space]
Jones: Hello, it’s me astronaut Jones.[music start playing] [Astronaut Jones intro starts] [singing] I’m taking a rocket
I’m packing my suitcase
and look out moon
yeah, on rocket
into outer space
goodbye human race
I’ll be there soon
pass out for an adventure
yes, I said adventure
yeah, it’s my way
on the space highway
that’s why they all say
there goes astronaut Jones
Male voice: Hey! It’s Astronaut Jones in the Martian.
Jones: This is astronaut Jones. My crew left without me. I’m alone on the planet Mars. Oh, wait! I hear somebody.[Marcina walks in in a pink glossy dress]
Marcina: Space man, my name is Marcina. Proud ruler of the Martian people.
Jones: Yeah, right.
Marcina: We understand [Jones is mumbling things that sound like what Marcina is saying] that you’ve been abandoned here and require subsistence just arrived for 400 souls. Until you can be returned to your home, we are willing to help you. Give you food and water. In return, help us make contact with the earthlings and understand their strange way. What do you say, space man?
Jones: I say you take that butt out of the space suit and let me see it clap.
I’m taking a rocket
I’m packing my suitcase
Male voice: Astronaut Jones, written by Tracy Morgan. Directed by Tracy Morgan. Hair and Make-up by Tracy Morgan. Produced by Tracy Morgan and Melvin Goldfarb. This has been a Morgan/Goldfarb production.