Tommy T. Vilaris… Beck Bennett
Tanya Grapes… Aidy Bryant
Joe Hobs… Jay Pharoah
Shina Ray… Cecily Strong
Blade… Kate McKinnon
Jean Breads… Donald Trump
Bobby Moynihan[Starts with a band playing in a bar]
Backup singer: Yadi Yadi
Kenan: Are we there yet?
Backup singer: Yadi Yadi
Kenan: I bet he feels just like me[music stops]
Thank you very much, Lake George. Wow, what a great crowd tonight. So, let’s meet the band. On the bass guitar, it’s Tommy T. Vilaris.[Cut to Tommy. He plays a bass solo] [Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: On the keyboards, give it up for miss Tanya Grapes.[Cut to Tanya. She plays keyboard solo.] [Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: He’s our drummer and our band’s resting hound, Joe Hobs.
Kenan: Yeah, Joe. And over here, singing back up vocals and light dancing, Shina Ray and Blade.[Cut to Shina and Blade. They start singing and dancing.] [Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Alright. And where would we be without our very own, Jean Breads on laser harp.[Cut to Jean on laser harp. He just plays two keys and looks at Kenan] [Cut to Kenan disappointed.]
Kenan: Is that it? Is that your whole solo?[Cut to Jean]
Jean: I guess it has to be.[Cut to Tommy]
Tommy: What do you mean? What’s wrong, Jean Breads?[Cut to Jean]
Jean: Oh, nothing. It’s just every night, everyone’s solos get longer and longer, by the time I get there nobody is even listening.
Blade: Jean, we’re doing the same thing we always do. We always– we go…[Shina and Blade start singing and dancing.] [Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Now, Shina Ray, Blade, let him finish his thought.[Cut to Jean]
Jean: It doesn’t matter. I mean, I’m only playing the most fantastic instrument ever made. It’s lasers![Cut to Tanya]
Tanya: Well then, play them Jean Breads.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Oh, easy Tanya. We are in front of an audience.
Shina: That’s right guys. There are eight people here that wanna kill our show.[Cut to the eight people in the audience] [Bobby walks in]
Bobby: Whoop! Sorry, there’s nine now. Sorry, I just got here.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Oh, well great. Would you like us to re-introduce ourselves?[Cut to Bobby]
Bobby: Yeah. I would love that. Just so I know who’s on what instrument. Yes.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Okay. Real fast so that there’s plenty of time for Jean at the end. Let’s go. Tanya Grapes!
Kenan: Tommy T. Vilaris.[Cut to Tommy. He plays a bass solo] [Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Joe Hobs.[Cut to Joe. He plays drums solo.]
Kenan: Yeah, Joe. Shina Ray and Blade.[Cut to Shina and Blade. They start singing and dancing.] [Cut to Jean. He is dancing.]
Jean: Here we go. It’s my moment.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Hang on a second. I almost forgot, I sometimes play the sax.
Kenan: And Jean Breads–
Jean: I quit.
Kenan: –on the laser harp.[Cut to Jean]
Jean: Let me just tell ya’. I quit.[Cut to the band]
Joe: Don’t be like that, Jean.[Cut to Jean]
Jean: I joined this band to be a part of a team.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: But you are, Jean Breads. You are a part of this.[Cut to Jean]
Jean: I’m not if you don’t give me a chance to shine.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: You’re right. Please take all the time you need. Play your laser harp.[Cut to Jean]
Jean: Great! I’m about to rock this place down.[Jean starts playing his laser harp and dancing] [Tommy comes in]
Tommy: Oh, he’s doing it. Look at the audience.[Tommy leaves] [Cut to the bar. There is no audience.] [Cut to Kenan]
Joe: I guess they’re leaving to tell their friends. Hit it guys![The End]\