Kyle Mooney
Abraham… Beck Bennett
Pete Davidson
Sasheer Zamata
Cashier… Kenan Thompson
Dr. Erkhart… Dwayne Johnson
[Starts with a house party]
[Kyle sees Abraham. He’s wearing a cap.]
Kyle: Yo, Abraham! You’re up? Keg stand!
Abraham: Oh, hell yeah!
[Cut to Abraham doing the keg stand and Kyle and Pete holding his legs.]
Everybody: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
[Abraham finishes the drink and stand up. His cap falls off. He’s bald.]
Abraham: Whoo! Whoo!
[Everyone is looking him in awkward way]
What?
Pete: Abraham. Are you bald?
[Cut to Abraham denying.]
Abraham: No!
[Abraham runs out of the crowd and sits on the stairs alone.]
[Kyle walks in]
Kyle: Hey! Sorry about back there.
Abraham: It just sucks. No one wants to be the bald guy in the frat.
Kyle: I know. That’s why I use this.
[Kyle hands over a box to Abraham]
Abraham: Brogaine? For college age guys?
Kyle: You know, I was like you once.
[Cut to Kyle when he was bald walking to the college.]
Honestly, I felt like a creep around campus.
[Cut to Sasheer walking smiling. But when she sees Kyle, she makes her face salty.]
I couldn’t even get anyone to check my fake ID.
[Cut to bald Kyle buying a liquor. He tries to show the cashier his ID.]
Cashier: Oh, that’s not necessary, sir. [talking to another customer] Young man, have your ID out and ready.
[Cut to an old man standing beside Kyle.]
Kyle: That’s when my doctor told me about Brogaine.
[Cut to the doctor who is also bald.]
He explained pretty much your balding can be caused by stress brought on by things like midterms, nerds, think your frat dog may be alcoholic and you chanted the N-word in a viral video. The Brogaine helps fight hair loss by combining the hair growing properties of Minoxidil with other useful chemicals like creatine, vicodin and bud heavy.
[Cut to Kyle and Abraham]
Abraham: Wow, so it really does work, huh?
[The doctors walks in. He has very long hair.]
Dr. Erkhart: Ha-ha. It worked for me.
Kyle: Dr. Erkhart?
Dr. Erkhart: [looking at the party] So, um, we doing this?
Male voice: Brogaine, it’s nice!
