Kenan Thompson[Strats with a video clip of streets of Bushwick, Brooklyn] [Cut to three black young men at the hood.]
Jay: Yo! Who dat? Who dat?
Kevin: Wait! Who?[Cut to Marques cycling] [Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Kenan: Man, it’s just Marques, man!
Kevin: Yo! Wad up, Marques?
Kenan: Wad up, Kes?
Jay: Yo, it’s getting crazy out here.
Kevin: I told you I ran in the Ray today, right?
Kenan: Is that right?
Kenan: What happened?
Kevin: So, I’m walking down Bushwick, right? I’m on my way to Martha’s
Jay: Your baby mother?
Kevin: Na, na, na. that new mayonnaise spot.[Cut to Kevin walking into Martha’s Mayonnaise store.]
Jay: Yo, I heard about that.[Cut to Kevin]
Kevin: I read about it on donut food blog. It said that the garlic truffle was a must try, so I said, “Alright, let me try.”[Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Kenan: Didn’t I show a movie spin class to Bushwick?
Kevin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Jay: Yeah! I was there last week.[Cut to Kevin on gym cycle between two other ladies using gym cycles. Kevin is using cellphone.]
I texted you but you an’t text me back.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: I was caught up. I had brunch with Carol.[Cut to Kevin]
Kevin: Wait, what Carol? Carol from project?[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Na, na, na. Carol DeTec that I nanny for.
Kevin: Oh, okay.
Kenan: Her kids went away on ski trip, you know what I’m saying? So, we just had a day together. Telling why and whatever. Had that brunch, went to shopping, got gelato.
Kevin: Let me tell you something. You be needing that bro. You know what I’m saying? The time, that ‘you time’.
Kenan: So, anyway, you seen Ray, then what happened?
Kevin: Oh, right. So, I’m with my bitches, right?
Jay: Come on, man! You ain’t got no bitches.[Cut to Kevin and Kenan]
Kenan: Play you out, man.
Kevin: Why you tryina’ play me like I ain’t got like, 10 bitches man? My dog walking business is bubbling![Cut to Kevin walking the dogs.]
Kenan: Everybody in the hood know about your passion for K9.[Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Kenan: Streets is talking, fam! That’s why you getting that bread right now.
Kevin: Let me tell you something. It ain’t even about that bread, bro. Man, I got love for them dogs. Love. I’d die for mine. [cut to Kevin] I knitted the sweaters for Christmas. [Cut to Kevin holding two dogs wearing Christmas red sweater and he is wearing the same sweater too.]
Kenan: That’s adorable.
Kevin: We all got matching sweaters man.[cut to Jay]
Jay: I mean, that’s real talk, man! Coz it’s like, you know, when you doing something you love, you don’t even got the work no more. It’s not work no more.[Cut to Kevin]
Kevin: Heard that.
Jay: That’s how I feel about my parties.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Ayo! How was that last party?[Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Jay: Oh, that last party was off the table, man.[Cut to Jay in painting class drinking wine.]
It was drinking wine. Painting the landscapes. Various food, you know what I’m saying?[Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Kevin: You have any Cheeses though?
Jay: Do we have Cheeses. You asking if we have any chee– [Cut to Jay] What else are you gonna compare with, air?
Kevin: You’re right.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Who went to it though?[Cut to Jay]
Jay: Yo! The whole squad was in there. Big Tank, Sara, Smokie, Marative, D’Rock, Barbara. What’s the boy’s name?
Jay: Bacwaf.[Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Even Brit was there.[Cut to Brit playing guitar and singing]
Brit: [singing] I’m in love with the Coco.[Cut to Jay]
Jay: Yeah, listen. We was turned up.[Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Kevin: Yo man, I missed that B.
Jay: Well, I sent you an Evite and everything. You ain’t even respond.[cut to Kevin and Kenan]
Kenan: [laughing] Yo! This dude said Evite like it’s twothousandthree or something.
Kevin: [laughing] Yo![Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
So, stupid, yo! You sound stupid.
Kevin: You a sad music. Here comes the sad man.[Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Word! You acting like somebody put gluten in your muffin or something.[Cut to Jay]
Jay: Whatever, man![Cut to Kenan]
Kenan: Anyway! Back to the damn story.[Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Kevin: Right. Right, right, right.
Kenan: We don’t bush away. You see Ray, and?
Kevin: I shot him.[Cut to Kevin shooting somebody with his gun.] [Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Jay: In front of the bitches and everything?
Kevin: Yeah![Cut to Kevin with the dogs holding a gun. Then he turns back and walks away with his dogs.] [Cut to Jay, Kevin and Kenan]
Kenan: How was the mayonnaise?
Kevin: I didn’t get the mayonnaise. They trying to charge $8 for that shit.
Kenan: For mayonnaise?
Kevin: For mayonnaise. $8 for the mayonnaise.
Kenan: Come on, man![Kevin looks at someone.]
Kevin: Yo! Who dat? Who dat?
Kenan: Oh, that’s just Carama and his life partner. Wad up Caray?
Kevin: Wad up Magel?
Jay: It’s getting crazy out here.[police siren]
Kevin: Yo, yo! Five, five, five.[Jay, Kevin and Kenan split and walk in different directions.