Chocolate Droppa’s Listening Party

Chocolate Droppa… Kevin Hart

Harry… Pete Davidson

Roy…Jay Pharoah

Caren… Leslie Jones

Mark… Bobby Moynihan

Carl… Beck Bennett

[Starts with Chocolate Droppa with his friends in the studio]

Chocolate Droppa: Yo! I just want to thank you all for coming to my listening party, man! It means a lot to me, you know that? Finally finished my first album. I’ma be honest man, I couldn’t have done it without my crew.

Harry: Yo, we love you Jamiel!

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: No, no, no! Yo, yo, yo, yo! Drop the Jamiel stuff, y’all. It’s Chocolate Droppa now, man! That’s my name. I came up with it yesterday. Y’all like it?

[Cut to Royand Caren]

Roy: Ha-ha-ha. Sort of.

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Well, listen. Before I play this song, man, I just really want y’all to know that you guys, was the inspiration for this track. You know what I’m sayin? You’re my crew. I got you back, man!

[Cut to Royand Caren]

Roy: Ah, man! Respect, dawg!

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Ay! Look, I got the hook already but I really ain’t laid down vocals yet. So, what I’ma do is, I’ma sing the song live for y’all man.

[Chocolate Droppa’s friends clap for him] [Cut to Royand Caren]

Caren: Alright. Let’s hear that thang!

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Yeah! Yeah! Ay, look. Buckle up. Let me tell you something. Droppa’s about to spit it, you hear me? Alright, ay! [Cut to everybody] I’ma about to set it all for you, alright? [Chocolate Droppa plays the beat] [rapping] Here I go, all day, let’s get ready, let’s go
pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew
pop-pop, pop-pop, gunshot sound
coz I’m shooting at everybody
pew-pew pop-pop gunshot sounds

[Cut to Royand Caren]

Roy: Yo! That hook is super hard bro!

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Ay! It ain’t even started yet! Watch, yo!

here it go
I’m tight with my crew
we tell each other everything
I know all their secrets
so here’s a song about their secrets

[Cut to Harry looking confused]

Harry: Wait, what?

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Ay! Uh!
first up, let me tell you about my boy Mark

[Cut to Mark looking confused]

Mark: Maybe don’t!

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Uh! Uh! Yo! Yo!
Mark ain’t paid his taxes in ten years
owe the government about thirty thou
pow-pow
if convicted he could do up to ten
in the pen pow-pow-pow

[Cut to Mark]

Mark: Come on, man!

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Yeah! Let’s go!
pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew
pop-pop, pop-pop, gunshot sound
coz I’m shooting at everybody
pew-pew gunshot sounds
Yo! Next up is Carl. Here we go. Let’s go, uh!
Carl got the herps the lip kind
he tried to cover it with lipstick
but we all know it’s there Carl

[Cut to Carl covering his mouth.]

Carl: I din’t know what he’s talking about.

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa:

pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew
pop-pop, pop-pop, gunshot sound
yeah! uh! Harry! Harry!
Here it come! Harry, here it come!
Harry is a Muslim but he eat pork

[Cut to Harry]

Harry: That’s not true.

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Yeah, yeah, yeah
he popped gummy bears all day all day
gummy bears have gelatin
and gelatin come from pig
that’s pork! you didn’t know that, did you?
dumb bitch!

[cut to Harry. He spits the gummy bears out.]

Harry: Why didn’t anybody tell me?

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Yeah! Yeah! Gun shots, what? Gun shots, what? Uh!

[music stops] [cut to everybody]

Yo! Yeah! Yeah! Yo, y’all thought I was finished, didn’t y’all?

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Nope!

[music playing]

pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew-pew
pop-pop, pop-pop, gunshot sound
Yo! Saving the best for last
Caren- Caren- Caren- Caren
Caren and Roy accidentally killed Steve
they think nobody know, I know
they don’t wanna get in trouble
now, it’s a “Weekend at Bernie’s(1989)”

[Cut to Royand Caren. Steve is sitting on sofa in front of them wearing sunglasses.]

Roy: Come on, man! [Royand Caren are holding Steve’s hands and waving them.] He good! He good! Man, look at him.

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa]

Chocolate Droppa: Pop-pop, pop-pop!

Yo! I love my friends, man! I love y’all. So, what did y’all think? It’s fire, right?

[Cut to Chocolate Droppa’s friends. The’re pointing guns at Chocolate Droppa.]

Wait a minute. Hold on now. Wait, what’s going on? Wait, what part of the song made y’all mad?

[gun shot sounds] [cheers and applause]