Taran Killam
Cecily Strong
Kenan Thompson
Scarlett Johansson
Pete Davidson
Venessa Bayer
[Starts with a museum. Taran is touring few people.]
Taran: Now, in this room, we’ll see the famous Tyrannosaurus Rex. Now, while the T-Rex had over 60 razor sharp teeth, you can tell by the length of his arms, he wasn’t brushing em’ very often. [laughs]
[Cut to the visitors]
Cecily: Okay, that’s random.
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: Um, now before we move on, are there any questions?
[Cut to the visitors]
Kenan: Um, I have a question. How fast can a T-Rex run?
Scarlett: That’s random
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: Well, the recent estimates put the T-Rex at between 15 and 25 MPH.
[Cut to the visitors]
Scarlett: Random.
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: Okay. [laughs] Um, are there any other questions?
[Cut to the visitors]
Cecily: I have a question. What if we put a big giant fake turd underneath the dino so it looks like he just took a huge crap? That will be hilarious because everyone would be like, “Okay!”
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: Um… Yeah! [laughs] I guess he would. [laughs] Not really sure that was a question.
[Cut to the visitors]
Pete: Hey, um, where were these particular bones discovered?
Cecily: Random!
Scarlett: I have a question. What if we put the dino’s skull under his tail so it looks like he craps right on his head?
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: I… don’t know answer to that.
[Cut to the visitors]
Scarlett: I do. Everyone would be like, “Okay!”
Cecily: Nice! That’s exactly my sense of humor.
Venessa: I have a question.
Scarlett: Random.
Venessa: It’s not. Why did they believe that T-Rex went extinct?
Cecily: Asked the most random girl.
Venessa: Shut up!
Cecily: I think I’m gonna like you. I’m gonna sit by you later.
Venessa: Sit by me where?
Cecily: What if we put dino footprints going to the bathroom? People would be like, “Um, is the dino taking a crap? Okay!”
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: Um, I’ll just say it now. We’re not gonna rearrange the dinosaurs in any way today.
[Cut to the visitors]
Kenan: Well, I heard that the dinosaurs may actually have been multi-colored and covered in feathers.
Scarlett: Okay, weirdo! Party of what?
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: Um, no! That is actually a great question.
[Cut to the visitors]
Cecily: Here’s your menu. The specials are, you’re-insane-burger.
Scarlett: With a side of random fries.
Kenan: Okay, these guys are killing me. I am honestly like, 4-5 seconds from wilding.
Scarlett: You know how you said the dinos were all named Megasaurus or whatever.
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: I never said that.
[Cut to the visitors]
Scarlett: What if we named one of the dinos, ‘Alex’ and everyone was like, “Um, okay. So, I guess that just happened!”
Cecily: Oh, ding it! I should have said my name was Sam Crab. Then everybody would be like, “Okay!”
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: You never gave any name.
[Cut to the visitors]
Cecily: Oh, then my name is Sam Crab.
Scarlett: Okay.
Kenan: Now, I’m like 2-3 seconds from wilding.
Cecily: What if each of these dino bones were just like a random dino. Everybody are gonna be like, “Okay, that’s normal. Moving on. That’s random. Um, that happened. Oh, so that just happened!”
Venessa: No, they wouldn’t. No one would be like that.
Cecily: Oh, you’ve got a little bitch in you.
Scarlett: I adore that.
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: Look, I’m sorry but you and your friend are ruining this for everyone.
[Cut to the visitors]
Cecily: Friend?
Scarlett: I came here alone.
Cecily: As did I.
[Cut to Taran]
Taran: You don’t know her?
[Cut to the visitors]
Scarlett: We’re just two separate people who came here randomly.
Kenan: That’s it! Two, one, I’m wilding! Ah!
[Kenan starts wilding]
Taran: Ah! Everyone out! He’s wilding!
[The End]
