Steve Harvey… Kenan Thompson
Jackie Williams… Leslie Jones
Martin Williams… Jay Pharoah
Layla Williams… Sasheer Zamata
Raymond Williams… Michael Che
Darrel Williams-Magill… Tracy Morgan
Maria Williams-Magill… Cecily Strong
Rachael Magill… Venessa Bayer
Blake Magill… Jon Rudnitsky
[Starts with Family Feud intro]
Male voice: It’s time for Family Feud. And here’s your host, Steve Harvey.
[Cut to Steve Harvey walking in the set]
Steve Harvey: Okay. Now, welcome to Family Feud. Y’all like this suit? I got the tie from Shaq’s fist tie knot, knot as thick as Shaq’s fist. Okay, let’s meet our two families. [Cut to the Williams] Over here, we got the Williams family. How you doing, darling?
Jackie: I’m good, Steve. I’m Jackie and these are my three kids, Martin, Layla and Raymond.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]
Steve Harvey: Oh, your husband didn’t want to play?
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: Well, I’ve been divorced for about six months but we’re doing alright.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]
Steve Harvey: Oh, so you fresh on a scene. Okay. And over here, we got the Williams-Magill family. [cut to the Williams-Magill family] How are you doing today player?
Darrel: How you dong, Steve? I’m Darrel, and this is my beautiful wife Maria. My two step kids, Rachael and Blake.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]
Steve Harvey: Well, you look lovely today darling. [Cut to Darrel and Maria] How long have you been married?
Maria: About six months.
[Cut to Steve Harvey. He is suspicious.]
Steve Harvey: Hold up. Williams. Williams-Magill.
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: Yes! Darrel is my ex-husband and these are his kids.
[Cut to everybody]
Steve Harvey: So, you left her and then you married her. And now you’re both here together. Oh, damn!
[Cut to Darrel and Maria]
Darrel: The heart wants what it wants, Steve!
[Cut to Steve Harvey]
Steve Harvey: That ain’t the heart, player!
[Cut to Darrel and Maria]
Maria: It’s okay coz we are all working through this and doing our best.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]
Steve Harvey: [laughing] I love this. [Cut to Darrel, Maria and Rachael] So, how you liking your new daddy?
Rachael: He’s cool, I guess. It might be nice if he put some clothes on when he cooks breakfast.
Darrel: And get baking grease on my new t-shirts? Uh-uh! I do a baby boy style.
[Cut to Steve Harvey]
Steve Harvey: Oh, it’s only getting better. Oh, get me two people. Let’s play the feud. Come on!
[Jackie and Darrel walk forward]
[Steve Harvey look at Jackie and Darrel’s faces]
Y’all okay?
Jackie: I told you, we are working through it.
Steve Harvey: Alright then. 100 people survey, top five answers on the board. Name something that people frequently forget.
[Jackie hits the buzzer]
Jackie: Their family.
Steve Harvey: Oh, right out the jump. Right out the jump. She’s going to jump right in with that one. Okay, I don’t know if that’s right, but I know it’s real. Show me, forget the kids.
[Cut to the answer screen. There is ‘family obligations’.]
[right answer bell]
[Cut to Darrel, Steve Harvey and Jackie]
Steve Harvey: Okay, okay. There’s a lot of dead beats out there. Darrel, you got a better answer? Something that people forget?
Darrel: How about your password?
[Cut to Williams-Magill clapping]
[Cut to Darrel, Steve Harvey and Jackie]
Steve Harvey: That’s a good answer. That’s a good answer. Show me ‘password’.
[Cut to the answer screen.]
[wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Darrel, Steve Harvey and Jackie]
Steve Harvey: Oh, sorry player. Looks like we surveyed 100 divorced women. Okay, Williams family, you up.
[Steve Harvey walk to the Williams]
Martin, name something that people frequently forget.
[Cut to Martin]
Martin: To come to your residal coz they say they have to work.
[Cut to Darrel looking hurt]
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]
Steve Harvey: Um, I’m sorry. That’s not an answer.
[Cut to Martin]
Martin: Exactly! That’s what I thought too.
[Cut to Darrel]
Darrel: I love you Martin. But no man should be forced to watch his son play the clavenet.
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]
Steve Harvey: Wow! Wound is still fresh. Oh! Show me somebody ain’t show up somewhere.
[Cut to the answer screen]
[wrong answer buzzer]
Oh, well, Layla. Something that people forget.
Layla: I know something. Your morality.
[Cut to Darrel]
Darrel: How you talking about morals when you out there stripping every night?
[Cut to Layla]
Layla: I got to make money.
[Cut to Darrel]
Darrel: It’s not even a real strip-club. It’s a car-wash with a room in the back.
[Cut to Layla]
Layla: That’s what happens when your daddy abandons you for a cruise ship director. You ain’t around! You weren’t around us.
Steve Harvey: Wait! Folks, let’s just remember hurt can go a long way. Show me keep em off the pole.
[Cut to answer screen]
[wrong answer buzzer]
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]
I’m sorry. Let’s go over to Raymond.
[Raymond is not there]
Wait! Hold up, where did he go?
[Cut to the Williams-Magill. Raymond is standing behind them.]
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: Raymond, what are you doing?
[Cut to Raymond and the Williams-Magill]
Raymond: Look mom, I’m sorry. But these people are happy.
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]
Steve Harvey: Well, you can’t fault a man for wanting some happiness. We back to Jackie, something that people forget.
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: You know what, Steve? I’m gonna give a real answer. Because I’m not gonna let them win. Okay, something you forget is… commitment!
[Cut to Darrel]
Darrel: Oh! Here we go.
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: You took a vow, Darrel, of love, at the Fort-Queens hotel and casino in Las Vegas. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?
[Cut to the answer screen]
[wrong buzzer]
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams]
[yelling] I loved you Darrel. I had your kids.
[wrong buzzer]
Steve Harvey: That means stop. That’s what that means. It’s over. I’m sorry, that is not up there. Looks like the Williams-Magill family has a chance to steal.
[Cut to Jackie]
Jackie: [yelling] He has stolen enough from me, Steve!
[Cut to Steve Harvey]
Steve Harvey: I guess I walked right into that one.
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams-Magill]
Okay, give me some good ides. Williams-Magill, come on!
Maria: Your keys.
Rachael: Your phone.
Blake: Your ID.
Raymond: To follow your heart, daddy.
[Cut to Steve Harvey and Darrel]
Steve Harvey: Okay, Darrel, something that people forget.
Darrel: Look, man! I’m a man. Sometimes men make mistakes. Like I did in my previous marriage. We were young, horny, and I liked it raw. I’m old school.
Steve Harvey: Hey, Darrel, I hear you player. Loud and clear. Show me, ‘I forgot to pull out’.
[Cut to answer screen]
[right answer bell]
[Cut to Steve Harvey and the Williams-Magill]
Williams-Magill wins again. You know what? I’ll just write this family a check for everything in my bank account right now. We’ll be right back.
[The End]
