Hands Free Selfie Stick


Aidy Bryant

Kyle Mooney

Venessa Bayer

Amy Schumer

[Starts with Aidy taking a selfie in Time Square city street.]

Aidy: We’ve all been there. It’s your first trip to New York city and you got your perfect Time Square selfie all lined up. And your big melon takes up the whole photo. Fail! What to do?

[Cut to Kyle walking in a park with his phone attached to a selfie-stick.]

Kyle: I’ll tell you what. You need the original selfie-stick.

[Cut to Aidy taking a group selfie using a selfie-stick]

Aidy: Get in here, you guys.

[Other three people join Kyle as well.]

Aidy: This thing is great, but my arm’s getting really tired and I wish I didn’t have to hold it up the whole time.

[Cut to Venessa in the park]

Venessa: Got you covered, girlfriend. Take a gander at the new hands-free selfie-stick.

[Cut to Kyle setting up the hands-free selfie-stick on Aidy.]

Aidy: Hands-free?

[Venessa walks in]

Venessa: That’s right. With this, you won’t have to hold it at all.

Aidy: Awesome.

[Aidy turns around. The hands-free selfie-stick is stuck into Aidy’s butt hole at the back and comes all the way to the front over her head.]

Venessa: Now, you’re in total control.

Aidy: It’s really, really up in my bott.

Kyle: It sure is!

Venessa: Try it!

[Cut to Kyle walking around using the hands-free selfie-stick.

Female voice: Using it is easy. When you want to take a picture, just cling.

[cut to Amy walking with a hands-free selfie-stick on]

Amy: I love it. I never leave home without it.

[Venessa walks in]

Venessa: Smile.

Amy: Why?

Venessa: So you’ll look cute in the picture.

Amy: It takes pictures? How? [Amy clings]Oh, that’s how.

[Cut to Aidy and Amy taking selfies using hands-free selfie-stick.] [Cut to Aidy, Kyle, Venessa and Amy with the hands-free selfie-stick on]

Venessa: Free up your creativity, with the original hands-free selfie-stick.

Kyle: it’s the best.

Amy: I can barely feel it anymore

Aidy: Smile!

Female voice: The hands-free selfie-stick!

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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