Jane Lynch… Kate McKinnon
Kelly… Venessa Bayer
Vin Diesel… Taran Killam
Wynonna Judd… Aidy Bryant
Common … Jay Pharoah
Eddie… Kyle Mooney
Nick Offerman… Beck Bennett
Marion Cotillard… Cecily Strong
Wanda Sykes… Taraji P. Henson
Jane Lynch: Yes! Yes! You’re watching Hollywood Game Night. I am Jane Lynch. Men’s warehouse was right. I do like the way I look. Here’s how the show works. We pair two regular people with celebrities and they play series of dumb games for a chance to win $25,000. Let’s meet the team from Tulsa, it’s Kelly.[Cut to Kelly]
Kelly: Woo! Let’s do this, Jane![Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: Settle! Playing for Kelly from Furious 7, we got Vin Diesel.[Cut to Vin Diesel]
Vin Diesel: No. I’m Vin Diesel.[Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: Yikes! Yikes! Country music legend, Wynonna Judd.[Cut to Wynonna Judd]
Wynonna Judd: Oh, am I on TV? Well, let me brush my hair so I look good for mama. Oh, not to brag, but this is the same brush they use on horses.
Jane Lynch: And finally we got Oscar winning musician, Common.[Cut to Common]
Common: I play tonight on behalf of every black man who was ever struggle. Look how far we’ve come, brothers. Here I am, on top of the mountain.[Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: Whoof! Keep climbing. Alright, we’re gonna meet our other team, it’s Eddie.[Cut to Eddie]
Eddie: Hey, Jane. I’m psyched to be here.[Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: And I am psyched to be done with Glee. Yes! Playing for Eddie from Parks and Recreation, it’s Nick Offerman and his mustache.[Cut to Nick Offerman]
Nick Offerman: What? It’s back? I shaved it 10 minutes ago.
Jane Lynch: French actress and Oscar winner, the beautiful Marion Cotillard.[Cut to Marion Cotillard]
Marion Cotillard: Oh, Jane, that’s so nice of you. In France, I am considered 7, but here in America I am… um, you see… 300![Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: Yeah. And finally stand up comedy legend, we got Wanda Sykes.[Cut to Wanda Sykes]
Wanda Sykes: That’s right. I am a legend. The hell am I doing here?[Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: Alright, let’s get into our first game. It’s called Hollywoof. We’ll take a movie poster, replace the actors with dogs and you guess the film. That’s a real game that will be played by the millionaires. Let’s see the clue, time starts now.
Vin Diesel: I got this! Dog Boat![wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Wynonna Judd]
Wynonna Judd: Jane, I know the answer and I’d like to give it in the form of a 7 minute song about the lord. [singng] He left me up…[wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: Common. Do you know the movie?[Cut to Common]
Common: Selma.[wrong answer buzzer]
Unrecognized once again! Why not Selma? That is the question we have been asking ourselves! But we must be brave this day. Glory!
Jane Lynch: My god! It’s Titanic! Oh! Eddie’s team, the next game is called Namous Fames. We jumbled the letters of celebrities’ names and you guess who it is. It’s created by the adults who were fed up of their work. Here’s the clue, time starts now.[The screen shows “Brad Ttip” on the screen.]
Nick Offerman, you’re up![Cut to Nick Offerman. He has more mustache now.]
What the hell?
Nick Offerman: Jane, it appears my mustache is still growing. It cannot be stopped. And Jane, it’s angry.[wrong answer buzzer] [Cut to Marion Cotillard]
Marion Cotillard: I do not know the answer, but we simply must win because if we lose I will cry, and when I cry, I cry in French like this.
Jane Lynch: Wanda, you’re a smart woman. Tell me who this is.[Cut to Wanda Sykes]
Wanda Sykes: This is so easy. You got an A, B, R and A. Couple of Ts, so it’s obvious who that is. it’s Raba TT.[Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: Who is Raba TT?[Cut to Wanda Sykes]
Wanda Sykes: I don’t know. You wrote the clue! Tall ass white lady asking me who Raba TT is.[Cut to Jane Lynch]
Jane Lynch: The answer is Brad freaking Pitt. Okay, since no one’s done anything right, it’s time for the tie breaker. Each team picks a celebrity to represent them. Kelly.[Cut to Kelly and Vin Diesel]
Kelly: I’ll go with Vin Diesel because he’s breathing so hard. I think he needs to get up and move around.[Cut to Eddie’s team]
Eddie: I’m gonna pick Wanda Sykes.
Wanda Sykes: Yeah, of course you do. Looking at this sad ass couch, I would have picked me too.[Cut to everybody. Vin Diesel and Wanda Sykes walk to Jane Lynch.]
Jane Lynch: Alright, here’s the game. I’m gonna give you the beginning of a movie quote, you finish it. Oh, Vin baby, you’re first. Let’s do this. Luke, I am your…
Vin Diesel: Worst nightmare![wrong answer buzzer]
Jane Lynch: Okay. Wanda, Wanda, Wanda. Finish the line. I feel the need, the need…
Wanda Sykes: To leave. I don’t like the way this man is looking at me. He looks like a big toe on a t-shirt. All these people be crazy… which is inside of my new stand up special coming soon to HBO, yeah baby![wrong answer buzzer]
Jane Lynch: Alright. Enough! Enough! This has been Hollywood Game Night. I’m Jane Lynch and I’m getting out of here right this second. Boom![End]