Horny Song

0
(0)

Elizabeth Banks

Kate McKinnon

Vanessa Bayer

Aidy Bryant

Cecily Strong

[Starts with five women’s music video intro. They’re all wearing white outfits.]

Elizabeth: Hey, boys. We love all of you. But this song is for a few special men.

Kate: The ones who ignited our flames.

Vanessa: Who opened our eyes.

Aidy: And who first taught us how to be truly horny.

Cecily: [singing] I was in seventh grade, watching Tiara
when I had a feeling I had never felt
It was Carson Daily in normal jeans
and the blackest nails I had ever seen
I got up on the couch
and I knocked my first one out

Kate: 1996, I first heard about
started getting sweaty in my thermal top
Dala Hanslin’s lips and his long blonde hair
the most gorgeous woman anywhere
and that’s how I could tell
that I was gay as hell

All: You let the spark inside of me
you let my teeny tiny boobies free
yeah, we never met and we never will
but I thank you still coz I first got horny to you

Elizabeth: My guy was hot as hell, a real authority
it was Mr. Sheful from the Nanny
he was so refined, it made me insane
but I still don’t know that actor’s name
I look him up on my phone
just a second we’re alone

[music stops. Elizabeth is looking for him on her phone and all the other girls are watching.]

Charles Johnassy

Girls: Oh! Hmm…

[music begins]

Vanessa: Okay now, it’s me, mine is pretty bad
its those guys who kill their mom and dad
and the Mendez brothers, they were cute and young
I think Eric was the hotter one

Elizabeth: Vanessa, this is on TV

Vanessa: Oh right! Then I’ll say JTT.

All: You let the spark inside of me
you were my porn in 1993
and I never saw you without a shirt
but it still works, coz I first got horny to you

Aidy: I came alive back in 94, I felt for a carnivore
that’s right, the hunting son from dinosaur
I would sit on my hands and scoop
to a man in a lizard suit

All: You let the spark inside of me
other time just for me
I was on pillow put it down
and just go to tell when I first got horny to you

Kate: So horny, yeah!

All: When I first got horny to you
coz I first got horny to you

[Cut to the dinosaur opening his dinosaur mask in front of Aidy. He is so old that Aidy starts screaming out of fear.] [The End]

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments