Hot for Teacher

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Miss Daywart… Amy Schumer

Ricky… Kyle Mooney

Aidy Bryant

Mom… Venessa Bayer

[Starts with Hot for Teacher 8 video bumper] [Cut to Miss Daywart sitting on teacher’s desk in the class]

Miss Daywart: Okay class, that’s all the algebra. Any questions? No? Okay, make sure you study hard this weekend. You’re dismissed.

[The students stand and leave]

But not you, Ricky. You stay. You’re in hot water.

Ricky: Oh, no. Me?

Miss Daywart: Ricky, you failed the test. I can’t believe that stunt you pulled yesterday.

[Ricky stands ]

You need to be taught a lesson. You’re suspended!

Ricky: No, please teacher. I can’t get kicked out of school. I guess I just have an attitude problem.

Miss Daywart: So, you’re saying you wanna do me for better grades? Is that right?

Ricky: I guess I’m gonna have to. School’s too hard for me.

Miss Daywart: And it’s about to get even harder.

[Miss Daywart pulls Ricky and puts him on the teacher’s desk and start touching each other.]

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

[Aidy walks in]

Aidy: Miss Daywart. Um, sorry. I know school’s over but I was wondering if we could go over today’s lesson. I’m really struggling.

Miss Daywart: What?

Aidy: Well, in the blackboard it says that we have big test tomorrow. But like, you never mentioned what was on it and I really want to ace it Miss Daywart.

Miss Daywart: Right now, I can’t teach you that. All I can do is teach this bad boy that he can’t get off so easy.

Aidy: Oh, sorry. You’re busy. I guess I’ll just… I’ll study everything. Well, thanks Miss Daywart. You’re my favorite teacher. Bye Miss Daywart. Bye Ricky.

Miss Daywart: Bye.

Ricky: Bye.

[Aidy walks out.] [Cut to Miss Daywart and Ricky]

Miss Daywart: Now Ricky, you’re still in big trouble after that stunt you pulled yesterday. What am I gonna do with you?

Ricky: I have one idea. [Ricky opens his jacket]

Miss Daywart: Ah! I like a look of that. Now let’s get you ready for an oral exam.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

[Aidy walks in again]

Aidy: Miss Daywart. I wasn’t all the way gone yet and I heard you mention an oral exam?

Miss Daywart: What?

Aidy: Like, is that for everyone? Coz honestly, I’m really not good on my feet. Plus, it’s math so I’d really like to be able to like, work out the problem on paper.

Miss Daywart: Well, the oral exam is for Ricky only, coz he was bad.

Aidy: Whao! Ricky, two tests? That sucks. If you wanna come over later, I can help you study.

[phone vibrating]

Oh, that’s my dad calling. I think he’s trying to pick me up. Bye Miss Daywart. Bye Ricky.

Miss Daywart: Bye.

Ricky: Bye.

[Aidy walks out.] [Cut to Miss Daywart and Ricky]

Miss Daywart: Ricky, if you are long and hard, you can be the big old dick-torian.

Ricky: I would need your help

Miss Daywart: That’s fine. I’m very hands on teacher.

Ricky: Yeah, you are.

Miss Daywart: Yeah, I am.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

[Aidy walks in again speaking on the phone]

Aidy: Wait, dad? I can’t just walk home. It’s 9 miles on the highway. Okay, I’ll ask. [hangs up the phone] Hey, Ricky, could you maybe give me a ride home? My dad’s stuck at work.

Miss Daywart: He can’t. He is in hot water. Coz he got 68 in his last test. Now I’m gonna show him how to get a 69.

Aidy: Okay, but that’s still a D+.

Miss Daywart: I love Ds.

Aidy: Okay, you’re the teacher. You know, I wanna be a teacher someday, just like you. How did you get this job?

Miss Daywart: I moved to Hollywood when I was 14 and got tricked.

Aidy: That’s so cool.

[Mom walks in]

Mom: There you are. Hi sweetheart. I’m so sorry your dad couldn’t pick you up.

Aidy: That’s okay, mom. this is my algebra teacher I was telling you about.

Mom: Oh my god, Miss Daywart, it is so nice to meet you. Now, I love you black bra. Where did you get that?

Miss Daywart: They just gave it to me and I think I have to give it back if it’s salvageable.

Mom: That is so nice. You know, I was worried about sending my daughter to this new school because it’s just an office building. But she really likes it.

Aidy: Yeah.

Miss Daywart: Well, I like to discipline bad boys and I like to ride them hard.

Mom: That is great. You know, that’s how they’re gonna get into the good colleges.

Miss Daywart: Oh, Ricky’s about to go to FU.

Mom: Fordham University? I went there. Go Rams.

Miss Daywart: Get rammed!

Aidy: Okay, mom. Let’s go. Bye Miss Daywart. Bye Ricky.

[Cut to Aidy and Mom]

Mom: You know, that Ricky is cute.

Aidy: Well, from far away he’s okay, but up close he’s pretty busted.

[Aidy and Mom leave] [Cut to Miss Daywart and Ricky]

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

Ricky: Oh yeah.

Miss Daywart: Oh yeah.

[The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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