Iggy Azalea… Kate McKinnon
TI… Jay Pharoah
Azealia Banks… Sasheer Zamata
Rafty Drans… Chris Hemsworth
[Starts with Iggy Azalea show intro]
Male voice: It’s the Iggy Azalea show.
[Cut to Iggy Azalea in her set]
Iggy Azalea: Guys, welcome. Welcome to the show. I’m Iggy Azalea. Thank you all sory much. I like, can’t even believe you’re here for like, little Aussie me. Like, who even am I?
[music playing]
[rapping] I tell you who I am, see y’all murder been,
tear it up dirty m* you’re my witness
tick tock on the clock as I’m big in bitches
bang bang go to sound on me clipping bitches
You know what I mean? I don’t know. Oh, I love you guys so much. So much. And speaking of love, let me introduce my producer and rap daddy TI
[Cut to TI.]
TI: Nah, nah, nah. That is absolutely correctly. I created her. She’s my frank and fine, Ay!
[Cut to Iggy Azalea]
Iggy Azalea: Oh, my god! I love you so much. TI, isn’t rap so fun? And you know what else is fun? Feuds. I’m in a new feud errday. So, my first guest is one of my top feud friends, fellow rapper, Azealia Banks.
[Azelia Banks dances to the set. Iggy Azalea dances with her.]
Azelia Banks: No, no, no, no! That’s mine.
Iggy Azalea: Cool. Okay. Azealia, welcome. Oh, my god. You’re so mad at me. Our feud is so hiphop.
Azelia Banks: I came here because I was told that you were gonna apologize to me.
Iggy Azalea: Okay, how’s this for an apology then?
[rapping] click clack popping cap
Azelia Banks: [interrupting] No, no, no! No!
Iggy Azalea: Okay. Great!
[Cut to Azelia Banks]
Azelia Banks: Look, I’m over this feud. And I called you a poser or whatever, but I want to bury the hatchet. And… wait, did you just put my hat on your head?
[Cut to Iggy Azalea. She is wearing the same hat as Azelia Banks.]
Iggy Azalea: What? Oh, my god! I didn’t even realize. Now, we’re twinsies!
[Cut to Azelia Banks]
Azelia Banks: I am no one’s twinsie.
[Cut to Iggy Azalea and Azelia Banks]
Iggy Azalea: Azealia, you’re so funny. Okay, not it’s time for my second guest. He’s my cool older cousin and my hiphop mentor, Rafty Drans.
[Rafty Drans walks in dancing]
Rafty Drans: Yeah! Gand-bang boomerang! Thanks everyone for having me.
Iggy Azalea: Oh, my god. Isn’t he cute little handfull of hiphop?
Rafty Drans: Stop it. You’re making me blush all over.
Iggy Azalea: Rafty taught me everything I know about hiphop and today he’s joining me in the segment called tip-hops.
[Cut to TI]
TI: Tip-hops! Hiphop tips!
[Cut to Iggy Azalea and Rafty Drans]
Rafty Drans: That’s right, that’s right. So, tip hop number one, guns. When you don’t know what to do when you rap, just make a gun sound like this. “Bang bang, click clack, tip tip.” That’s a tiny gun.
Iggy Azalea: Don’t use a real gun. Safety first, guys.
Rafty Drans: Yeah.
Iggy Azalea: Tip hop number two, lists. Every good rap has a list of cool things. So, right now, Rafty, me and Azealia are going to create a whole new rap for you by making a list.
[Cut to Iggy Azalea, Rafty Drans and Azelia Banks]
Azelia Banks: I am not doing that.
Iggy Azalea: Okay, cool. Just Rafty and I then. TI, hit the beats.
[music playing]
[rapping] Gold chain, paper cranes,
stuck up hundred horsy men
Rafty Drans: Man haters, sweet potatoes
bang bang like a lang
[Cut to TI]
TI: All day! Rafty put a gun sound in his list. Respect.
[Cut to Iggy Azalea, Rafty Drans and Azelia Banks]
Rafty Drans: Tip hop number three. When your mouth gets tired of rapping, let your booty do the talking.
[music playing. Iggy Azalea stands up and starts twerking.]
Iggy Azalea: Azealia, do you like how I dance?
Azelia Banks: No.
Rafty Drans: Like how I dance?
[Rafty Drans starts twerking at Azelia Banks’s face]
Azelia Banks: A little bit.
[music stops]
Iggy Azalea: Okay, we’re almost at a time, but before we go, I wanna debut a new track. It’s about where I came from. My roots. This song is called “Money Ass”. Play the track.
[music playing]
[rapping] money ass
got that ass, got that money
got that money ass
signing checks out them jeans
Rafty Drans: Bang, bang!
Iggy Azalea: You could take that ass to the bank
and buy my ass with it
that money ass.
Right? I think that was a pretty decent rap. That’s all the time we have. I love you guys so much. Bye.
