Right Side Of the Bed With Matthew McConaughey

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Cory Chisholm… Taran Killam

Gracelynn Chisholm… Cecily Strong

Buster Little… Matthew McConaughey

Sheila Lay… Aidy Bryant

Ed Sheeran… Kate McKinnon

[Starts with WSB/TV ATLANTA video bumper]

Female voice: You’re watching WSB/TV ATLANTA. Up next, it’s Right Side Of the Bed.

[Cut to Right Side Of the Bed video bumper] [cheers and applause] [Cut to Cory and Gracelynn on a sofa in their set]

Cory: Good great November morning, you guys!

Gracelynn: You’re watching Right Side Of The Bed. I’m Gracelynn Chisholm and I’m here with my husband Cory Chisholm, better known in the Chisholm house as the lip gloss thief.

Cory: Oh! I needed it because I could kiss all over my wife’s beautiful lips.

[Cory jumps on Gracelynn to kiss her]

Gracelynn: Cory! Get off!

Cory: I just can’t help it. Can’t help myself. I just wanna throw you down on pile of leaves and go insane on your body.

Gracelynn: Cory!

Cory: Give me.

Gracelynn: We got a show to do. It’s 9:CoryEd Sheeran am. It’s in the morning. You already looking like a cartoon pork chop.

Cory: Um… you just make me so hot, I can’t focus on my job.

Gracelynn: Okay, enough! It’s our special thanksgiving episode and we have a great guest coming up a little bit later. From Buster’s By You Buffet, it’s chef, hunter and butcher, Buster Little.

[Cut to Buster waving his hand]

Cory: Oh there he is. Oh, my now there he is.

Buster: [mumbling] I got something in my tongue. Excuse me. I say hello there. Buster Little’s here. If you need a turkey killed, cut, cooked, you know who to call. And by call, I mean like this. Coo-coo-cock-cock coo-coo-doo-doo-cock! Yeah!

[Cut to Cory and Gracelynn]

Gracelynn: Okay, well that was something. We’ll be back with Buster later in the show. And I’m excited to taste that turkey.

Cory: Ah! Me too. I am gonna stuff myself this thanksgiving coz I’ve been so good on my diet.

Gracelynn: Diet? Oh please, Cory! You ate a tray of brownies in your bubble bath last night!

Cory: Dirty liar! If that’s so, how do I keep this body so ady-yady!

Gracelynn: It’s called the Kardashian waist trainer girdle and you wear it everyday.

Cory: [squeaky voice] What? Ah-ah! It’s not a girdle. It is a boydle, y’all! [showing his girdle]

Gracelynn: Okay, alright. If you’re joining us, we got a great show. Up later is Buster Little who’s talking everything turkey.

Cory: Oh, looks like he’s already got his fist in it there.

[Cut to Buster with his hand shoved inside the turkey]

Buster: Ho-ho, yeah! Hey there. Buster Little is here. Don’t you go getting scared y’all. I’m just spreading a little butter around the inside of this turkey. Even then, I’m about to do a puppet show. Check it out.

[Buster raises his hand with the turkey like a puppet]

Hey turkey!

Turkey: Yo, what’s up Buster?

Buster: You got a good joke for our pop you loving?

Turkey: Right, you know I do. What was a turkey for Halloween?

Buster: Well I don’t know. What was it?

Turkey: A goblin.

Buster: Ha-ha! Wait a minute, I don’t get it.

Turkey: Well, what’s not to get?

[Cut to Cory and Gracelynn]

Gracelynn: Okay, I think this beard may have eaten his brain.

Cory: Um-hmm.

Gracelynn: Either that or he has spent too much time in the backwoods.

Cory: Yeah, well I’ve been trying to spend some time in your backwoods but there’s to much brush blocking the way.

Gracelynn: Cory! Cory Chisholm, what is shooting around the head of yours?

Cory: Hey! I’m just like every other football watching, beer drinking, pizza eating man in America. All I care about is getting some tail.

[Cory trying to kiss Gracelynn]

Gracelynn: Oh! Good lord! Let’s check back with our guest please!

Cory: Um-hmm.

Gracelynn: Oh, my gosh! His oven is smoking.

[Cut to Buster still with his hand inside the turkey. He looks drunk now.]

Buster: Hey, I don’t feel so good. My turkey friend here, he don’t feel so good either.

Turkey: Yeah, the room is spinning.

Buster: You alright?

Turkey: No!

[She slams his hand with the turkey on the table]

Buster: A turkey fainted! You better call 911.

[Cut to Cory and Gracelynn]

Gracelynn: Oh! You know what? Sheila Lay, did you clean that oven today?

[Cut to Sheila Lay]

Sheila Lay: I sure did. With three cans of Easyoff. That’s more than nine times than what they say to you, so you’re welcome!

[Cut to Cory and Gracelynn]

Cory: Oh my goodness. Sheila Lay.

Gracelynn: That’s why he’s talking so crazy. He’s tripping all over cleaner.

[You can see Buster sneaking in behind the sofa Cory and Gracelynn is sitting on.]

Cory: Anyway…

[Buster scares Cory and Gracelynn, still with a turkey on his hand.]

Buster: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Cory: Oh my god. You just scared a tiny fart right out of me.

[Buster’s turkey now has a mouth, nose, eyebrows, mustache and glasses]

Buster: Look at him. I got my turkey friend all dressed up for church.

Gracelynn: Oh lord! Our next guest is supposed to be Ed Sheeran but I don’t know if it’s safe for himto come out.

[Cut to Ed Sheeran with his guitar]

Ed Sheeran: Uh-uh! It just– It smells like petrol or something.

[singing] Honey I will be loving you

[Ed Sheeran faints because of the smoke] [Cut to Cory, Gracelynn and Buster]

Cory: Oh my! That poor ginger fell damn so hard!

Gracelynn: We gotta get out of this studio and air it out.

Cory: Yeah, I tell her to air it out every night.

Gracelynn: Cory!

Cory: What? Krrrr!

Buster: Hey, you two a real couple?

Cory: What?

Gracelynn: What?

[The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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