Nancy… Aidy Bryant
Winnie Mayhood… Kate McKinnon
Rodney Soddet… Taran Killam
Elizabeth Tucson… Sasheer Zamata
Maggie Margaret Bond… Venessa Bayer
Debbie Frost… Cecily Strong
Martin… Kevin Hart
[Starts with Nancy Che in her set]Announcer: We now return to Nancy with your host Nancy Chase.
Nancy: Okay, guys. Yes, we are back. And for all you fans of the long running soap opera Fairwood Manor, this segment is for you. Because for the first time in almost 10 years, we have reunited the original cast. Exciting right. So, let’s bring them out. [cheers and applause] Please welcome Winnie Mayhood.
Rodney Soddet
[Rodney Soddet walks in]Elizabeth Tucson
[Elizabeth Tucson walks in]And last but never the least, Maggie Margaret Bond.
[Maggie Margaret Bond walks in. Background sound changes to a funny sound when she walks in.]Alright, it is so great to have you all here.
Rodney Soddet: Very lovely to be here.
Winnie Mayhood: Wonderful.
Elizabeth Tucson: Thank you so much.
Maggie Margaret Bond: You know, it is super. But guys, did anyone notice that my play on music sounded a little different?
Elizabeth Tucson: What do you mean?
Maggie Margaret Bond: Oh, I just mean that everyone had beautiful sweeping music and mine just seemed a little more like a choice.
Rodney Soddet: Oh, here she goes again.
Winnie Mayhood: I didn’t notice.
Maggie Margaret Bond: Well, whatever. Maybe it was just me. It’s so wonderful to see everyone again.
[Cut to Nancy]Nancy: Okay now, you guys, I have another surprise. Over the coarse of the show, her character Nicki successfully killed herself more than 15 times.
[Cut to the guests]Elizabeth Tucson: What? Debbie’s here? Oh, my god!
[Cut to Nancy]Nancy: Please welcome, Debbie Frost.
[Debbie Frost walks in]Maggie Margaret Bond: Oh my goodness, it’s Debbie. Debbie, I haven’t seen you in ages.
Okay, now, I know that that’s not in my head. My walking music is different than everyone else’s.
[Cut to Nancy]Nancy: I guess. You know, I’m not hearing but let’s bring out sound director Martin. I bet he can help us here. Can we get Martin out here?
[Martin walks in]Martin: Ay, everybody. It’s a great show so far.
[Cut to Maggie Margaret Bond]Maggie Margaret Bond: Hi, Martin. Um, I’m just curious. Do you think that you could play the same pretty music for all of us? Because I’m starting to feel singled out. You know, in a bad way.
[Cut to Martin]Martin: Oh, I’m sorry sweetie, I don’t speak English.
Maggie Margaret Bond: What?
[Cut to Martin]Martin: Actually, I speak it. I just don’t understand it. Again, I’m sorry.
[Cut to Maggie Margaret Bond]Maggie Margaret Bond: Okay, um, that doesn’t make any sense.
[Cut to Nancy and Martin]Nancy: Well, it is true. Actually, Martin learned just enough English to be able to do his job.
Martin: Thank you for clearing that up for me. Yeah, it’s crazy though. Yes.
Maggie Margaret Bond: Okay, alright, fine. Okay, here is my issue. Just watch what happens when they walk and then when I walk.
[Cut to the guests]Rodney Soddet: Maggie, drop it. Your music is fine.
Maggie Margaret Bond: Can you just walk around please?
[Cut to Martin]Martin: [speaking to the mic] Cue, beautiful music.
[Cut to everybody. Rodney Soddet starts walking. The background music is beautiful.]Maggie Margaret Bond: Now, watch what happens when I walk.
[Cut to Martin]Martin: [speaking to the mic] Cue, music I picked for her.
[Cut to everybody. Maggie Margaret Bond starts walking. Funny music starts playing.]Maggie Margaret Bond: This is what I’m talking about. Do you see? [Cut to Maggie Margaret Bond] I’m starting to take this personally, okay? Like, the dumpy music means that I’m dumpy or something.
Martin: Hey! [Cut to Nancy and Martin] Hey! Listen, I don’t understand English. Can you please respect that? [Martin turns to Nancy] Why can’t she respect that?
Nancy: I wish I knew.
Martin: No! You and me both. I mean… Listen, excuse me guys. I have to get back to work, okay? [Martin speaking to the mic] Cue, Martin’s exit music.
[Party music is playing. Martin starts dancing in the middle of the stage and then leaves.]Nancy: Alright, thanks Martin. Amazing job as always.
[Cut to Maggie Margaret Bond]Maggie Margaret Bond: Okay, I’m sorry Nancy, but I’ve basically had enough.
[Cut to the guests]Rodney Soddet: Oh, Maggie! So did we.
Elizabeth Tucson: Don’t be like that.
Maggie Margaret Bond: No! I don’t feel supported here. And I’m leaving.
[Cut to the stage. Maggie Margaret Bond stands and walks few steps and the funny music is playing. As she stopped walking, the music also stopped. With every step she takes, a funny sound plays.]Maggie Margaret Bond: Argh!
[Maggie Margaret Bond storms out of the stage with the funny sound.] [Cut to Nancy]Nancy: I seriously don’t know what she’s talking about. That music sounds fine to me. We will be right back!
