Bobby Moynihan
Taran Killam
Kyle Mooney
[Starts with video clips of Star Wars toys]
Male voice: New Start Wars: The Force Awakens toys and action figures are here.
Two kids: Cool!
Male voice: Are you ready to bring the adventure of Star Wars universe into your home?
Two kids: The force is with us.
[Two nerd adults walk in]
Bobby: And us.
Taran: Yeah! Us too.
Male voice: New action figures and play sets for ages six and up.
Three nerd adults: [holding the toys] Way up!
Male voice: Battle the evil Kylo Ren.
Kid: I’m gonna get you in my light saver.
Taran: Or leave it in the box!
Kid: Storm troopers, attack!
Bobby: Or leave them in the box and never touch them.
Male voice: All your favorite Star Wars heroes and villains.
Kid: I have Rey and Finn.
Kyle: I have three of each. One to display, one to open and one just in case.
Kid: Why?
Male voice: Nonstop Star Wars action. Like Chewbacca with a clip-on forest armor.
Kid: Time to suit up!
[Taran stops the id]
Taran: Or, just look at it! Radical!
Male voice: Launch into hyper-space with Battle Action Millennial Falcon with real movie sounds.
Bobby: It’s completely movie accurate! [A kid is playing with his ship] No, what are you doing? [He takes the ship toy back and shows the kid] That’s not how it lands. It goes [making sound of ship] pssssss, arrrrrr, khssssssss, phssss, phssss.
Male voice: You control the force. You control the action.
[A kid is hitting two figures on each other]
Kyle: They don’t fight like that.
Kid: Yeah, just lid Dug Vador.
Kyle: [angry] Dug Vador?
Male voice: The power is in your hand.
[Taran is playing the toy while a kid is watching him]
Kid: Does your wife like toys too?
Male voice: Collect them all and the fun never stops.
[Bobby is cleaning his action figure to put it on the shelf for show, while three kids are watching him do that.]
Bobby: Awesome!
Male voice: Start Wars: The Force Awakens action figures. Each sold separately for children and adult collectors.
Kids: Star Wars!
[All the adults run in with their toys]
Adults: May force be with you!
[The End]
