Tango

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Karen… Sasheer Zamata

David… Taran Killam

Tracy Morgan

Jay Pharoah

[Starts with Karen and David in the bar booth]

Karen: It’s not a big deal. Just let it go.

[David is having a beer]

David: Uh-uh. I’m just gonna talk to him man to man.

[David starts walking]

Karen: Promise me you won’t lose your temper.

[Karen reaches to Morgan and Jay]

Karen: Excuse me. Excuse me!

[Morgan turns around]

Morgan: Yeah, wad up?

Karen: My girlfriend says you made some inappropriate comments when she walked by? We have a problem?

[Jay talks to Morgan]

Jay: Yo! I know you’re not gonna let a man talk to you like this.

Morgan: Nah! There ain’t no problem. Lovely dove is looking good. Just thought I let her know.

Karen: Let’s just go.

David: Yeah, the thing is she doesn’t need you to let her know anything.

Morgan: Who do you think you talking to?

David: I’m pretty sure I’m talking to you.

Morgan: You wanna tangle with something?

David: Let’s dance right now, bro.

Karen: David!No!

Morgan: Then it’s a good thing I got on my dancing shoes boy! Your lead.

David: After you buddy.

Morgan: [raising his arms] Grab my waist

David: What? Grab your waist?

Morgan: Your lead, fool.

[Karen pulls David away]

Karen: I don’t think he wants to fight. I think he actually wants to dance.

Morgan: You’re damn right I do.

David: No. It’s just a euphemism, Karen.

Karen: No, but look at his shoes.

[Cut to Morgan’s shoes. He is wearing ballet dancing shoes.] [David walks to Morgan again]

David: Alright, look. Can we just say what we really mean for a second?

Morgan: Now you wanna talk? What happened to all that dancing you promised though?

Karen: This is just a big misunderstanding.

Morgan: If you don’t want to try on me man, then just be a man and say it. You don’t wanna take me bro? You don’t wanna put a rose in my mouth?

David: No! No, I don’t wanna do any of those things. Look, you don’t– I don’t even know how to tango.

Morgan: You wanna learn?

David: No.

Morgan: Why? You scared?

David: What? No!

Morgan: [yelling] Then put your hands on my waist!

David: I thought you wanted to fight.

Morgan: In these shoes?

David: Forget I said anything. Karen, let’s get our of here.

[Karen and David walk away]

Morgan: Oh, I see what’s going on here now. You see the baggy clothes, the hooded sweatshirt, and all you think is I’m some type of thug.

Karen: We didn’t mean that.

Morgan: You sound just like my pops. All I ever wanted to do was dance, lady! I come in by every night. I lean on this jukebox every night hoping that someday someone wants to share the magical rhythm with me. Not with these. [showing his fists]  But with these. [showing his ballet dancing shoes]

Jay: Hilarious!

Karen: It’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Sir, I’ll dance with you.

Morgan: No. It’s gotta be him. [pointing at David] I can’t lead. I don’t know how. And you can’t give me.

Karen: David?

[Morgan looks very sad. David feels for him.]

David: Alright. I’ll tango with you.

Morgan: [smiling] Word?

David: [laughing] Yes, word.

[Jay plays a music for tango] [David and Morgan are ready to dance]

Morgan: alright, grab my waist.

[David grabs Morgan’s waist]

Ou! Not that hard.

[David and Morgan start dancing] [The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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