Michael Che[Starts with Weekend Update intro]
Announcer: It’s Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.[cheers and applause] [Cut to Colin Jost and Michael Che in their news set.]
Colin Jost: Good evening everyone.
Michael Che: Welcome to Weekend Update. I’m Michael Che.
Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. And here are tonight’s top stories.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Barack Obama at left top corner.]
This week, President Obama delivered the State of the Union address and showed us what it looks like when a patriot comes to play with fully inflated balls.[Picture changes the Obama’s speech]
After republicans during the State of the Union applauded when President Obama said he had no more campaigns run, Obama responded saying, “I know, because I won both of them.” Obama’s comeback was so good, that it literally burned [Picture changes to John Banner who is very red.] John Banner.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of a football at right top corner.]
Michael Che: The NFL is investigating claims that the New England Patriots deflated game balls before the AFC championship win. Man, that Bill Belichick [Picture changes to Bill Belichick wearing hoodie with no sleeves.] always has a trick of his no sleeves.
The Patriots of course denied the cheating accusations saying the only deflated balls they have are because of steroids. Not cheating.[Picture changes to
The secret service reported that shots were fired from a car’s speeding pass Vice-President Joe Biden’s Delaware home. So far, police hhave only one suspect.[Picture changes to a paper with “Hillary 2016” written on it.] [Cut to Colin Jost. Thre’s a picture of Benjamin Netanyahu]
Colin Jost: Insiders are saying that the Obama administration is extremely upset that Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu plans to ask congress for addition sanctions against Iran. Saying that he will “Pay a price”, which brings the number of countries that have threatened Israel up to an even… [Picture changes to world map] all of them.