Michael Che[Starts with Weekend Update intro]
Announcer: It’s Weekend Update with Colin Jost and Michael Che.[cheers and applause] [Cut to Colin Jost and Michael Che in their news set.]
Colin Jost: How’s it going everybody?
Michael Che: Welcome to Weekend Update. I’m Michael Che.
Colin Jost: I’m Colin Jost. And here are tonight’s top stories.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Hillary Clinton at left top corner.]
Political experts are saying that Hillary Clinton’s campaign is having trouble winning over younger millennial voters. Mainly because in polls, millennials keep choosing themselvs.
Hillary is trying to reach out to millennials now though with her new campaign slogan “Netflix and Hill”.[Picture changes to Chris Christie and Barack Obama.]
At the GOP debate, Chris Christie criticized president Obama calling him a feckless weakling. Wow, someone got a dictionary for Christmas! I had to look that one up. Let’s see. Feckless, inept or irresponsible. Hah, well let’s see used in a sentence. It would be a feckless attempt at revenge to close three lanes of a bridge in New Jersey. Hah! Interesting. I think that was a good sentence.
Throughout the republican debate, many viewers took notice of an off screen cough that repeatedly interrupted candidates’ answers. No one is exactly sure where the cough came from, but it’s now polling 3 points ahead of Rand Paul.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of Marco Rubio at right top corner.]
Michael Che: Marco Rubio has launched a new campaign ad aimed at traditional values voters. Said traditional values voters, “Rubio, what is that? Italian?”
Officials for Ben Carson’s campaign said that he has cancelled a plan trip to Africa siting potential seciurity issues. Carson said he got worried after watching a disturbing documentary, “Jumanji”.