Colin Jost
Michael Che
[Starts with 1. There’s a picture of Pope Francis at left top corner.]
Speaker 1: It was announced that Pope Francis will visit New York city in September and hold a mass in Madison Square Garden. Because the pope always tries to go where [Picture changes to New York Knicks logo] people are suffering the most.
[Cut to 2. there’s a picture of Saudi Arabia flag at right top corner.[
Speaker 2: King Abdul of Saudi Arabia died this week at the age of 90 after he was run over by a terrible woman driver.
[Picture changes to Nicholas Cage and Osama Bin Laden.]
Riblet everybody!
It was announced this week that Nicholas Cage will star in a movie about irregular guy who goes on a hunt for Osama Bin Laden. It’s called, “The Nicholas Cage Story.”
[Cut to 1. There’s a picture of calendar marking January twentyfirst at left top corner.]
Speaker 1: This Wednesday was National Hug Day. Dad?
[Picture changes to doctor’s apron and stethoscope.]
A teenage in Florida has been caught posing as a gynecologist for over a month. Patients became suspicious when he began every appointment by asking, “Where is it?”
[Cut to 2. There is a picture of handcuffed hands at top right corner.]
Speaker 2: a New Hampshire man was arrested for child endangerment after he left his twin nine year old nephews home alone for days at a time. Said the twin, “We used to be triplets.”
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