Michael Che[Starts with Michael Che in his news set. There’s a picture of a big diamond at right top corner.]
Michael Che: The blue moon diamond which sold at auction for $48 million was bought by a billionaire for his 7 year old daughter which raises the disturbing question, “Did that guy cheat on his daughter?”[Cut to Colin Jost and Michael Che]
Colin Jost: This week students at Yale University marched in protest after the dean sent out an email asking students not to wear racially insensitive costumes.
Michael Che: And then a white professor replied all and defended the right to “Be offensive”.[Cut to Colin Jost. There is a picture of a white and a black mens’ arms.]
Colin Jost: Okay, first of all if you’re white, maybe just don’t go out of your way to jump into a racial debate. Just like in general when people start talking about race, I’m never like, “I’ll go first.”[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of ‘Reply to all’ button of email at right top corner.]
Michael Che: But you literally just did that!
Colin Jost: Never again.
Michael Che: Look, professor, if you’re gonna say something like that, don’t hit ‘Reply all’, alright? Workshop it first. Do what Colin does. Send it to your one black friend with the subject, “Hey, saw this somewhere. Any thought?”
Colin Jost: Okay, you laughed but it’s helpful. Okay? This is how we learn. Okay? That’s why this Halloween I went as white Al Roker.[Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of written Yale University at right top corner.]
Michael Che: I thought you were Dr. Phil.
Colin Jost: Man! My mom worked really hard on that.
Michael Che: Well, your mom stinks. Look, white kids, if you’re not sure whether or not your costume is offensive, just do what black kids do and don’t dress up for Halloween. I mean, you can afford to go to Yale, you can buy your own candy.[Cut to Colin Jost. There’s a picture of Snooki and Jwoww from Jersey Shore at left top corner.
Colin Jost: Former Jersey Shore stars Snooki and Jwoww have launched a new reality series on YouTube called “Moms With Attitude.” Plans are already in works for a spin off series called “Dads With Custody”.