Michael Che[Starts with Colin Jost in his news set. There is a picture of phone keyboard with emojis on it at left top corner.]
Colin Jost: A new keyboard has been introduced that let’s users type in emojis. Or makes your grandmother think she’s gone insane.[Picture changes to a gavel]
A woman has filed a $one million lawsuit against the feminist publishing house after she claimed she was fired for being too lesbian. Which is the same thing I was told when I got kicked off the high school football team. [Picture changes to an old black and white picture Colin Jost] [Cut to Michael Che. There’s a picture of caffeinated peanut butter at right top corner.]
Michael Che: That is jarry. A brand of peanut butter is being sold called Steem which contains more caffeine than a redbull. Perfect for that creep who wants that dog to just go to town down there.[Cut to Colin Jost] [audience laughing hard]
Colin Jost: But you get it. Okay.