Colin Jost
Kanye West… Jay Pharoah
[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: This week, Kanye West made a public apology to Beck on twitter writing “I would like to publicly apologize to Beck, I’m sorry Beck.” Here to explain what he wrote is Kanye West.
[Kanye West slides in]
[cheers and applause]
Kanye West: Hah! What’s good SNL? All y’all are diamonds.
Colin Jost: Okay, thank you very much. Well, thank you for being here, Kanye. You okay?
Kanye West: Listen, I’m good fam. You know, I always sound like I’m out breath. You know, coz my thoughts are constantly running. [Kanye West breathes heavily]
Colin Jost: Got you, yes. Well, you know, it’s not often we see you apologize. Specially in public. So, this seems like a new side of you.
Kanye West: That’s right, Colin. It’s all about apologies. You know? [Cut to Kanye West] Yeah! So, first of all, I wanna say that it was wrong of me not to come to rehearsal today. So, I wrote an apology. Well, actually, I will do it off the top of my head.
I would like to apologize to Colin Jost.
[Cut to Kanye West and Colin Jost]
[yelling at Colin Jost] I’m sorry, Colin Jost.
Colin Jost: Thank you very much. I accept your apology.
Kanye West: [loud voice] No question, fam! My apology is on the level of Jesus. Hah! And right now, I just wanna get a greatest apology of all time, fam!
Colin Jost: Okay, that sounds great.
Kanye West: It is, fam. Drop that!
[Hiphop beat playing]
[Kanye West gets a mic]
[A girl comes close to Kanye dancing.]
[rapping] I’m sorry
[The girl starts singing in the background]
I got so many things to apologize for, so buckle up
I’m sorry
those Llamas that escaped from my private menagerie
I’m sorry
that I saw my own shadow that’s six more weeks of winne
I’m sorry
to the movie Selma for thinking that song Glory was all about me
I’m sorry
On this day, I turn a new leaf
I apologize to everyone
from the latest to the haters
to the waiter who took my order
when I said, “I’ll have a Kanye once.”
to all that I missed, over the years I dissed
and still getting killed for what I said to Taylor Swift
for shifting the blame, for taking your claim
for giving my baby North a directional name
I’m sorry
that I asked Apple to autocorrect the word Beck to Beyonce
I’m sorry
to Michael Keaton, I should have voted for you for the best acted instead of my self
I’m sorry
that this incredible apology is setting a bar too high for anybody else
I’m sorry
This has been the greatest apology of all time, fam! Ain’t it Colin? Hah?
Colin Jost: Yes, very humble. Kanye West, everybody!
[cheers and applause]
