Weekend Update Kanye West Apologizes


Colin Jost

Kanye West… Jay Pharoah

[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]

Colin Jost: This week, Kanye West made a public apology to Beck on twitter writing “I would like to publicly apologize to Beck, I’m sorry Beck.” Here to explain what he wrote is Kanye West.

[Kanye West slides in] [cheers and applause]

Kanye West: Hah! What’s good SNL? All y’all are diamonds.

Colin Jost: Okay, thank you very much. Well, thank you for being here, Kanye. You okay?

Kanye West: Listen, I’m good fam. You know, I always sound like I’m out breath. You know, coz my thoughts are constantly running. [Kanye West breathes heavily]

Colin Jost: Got you, yes. Well, you know, it’s not often we see you apologize. Specially in public. So, this seems like a new side of you.

Kanye West: That’s right, Colin. It’s all about apologies. You know? [Cut to Kanye West] Yeah! So, first of all, I wanna say that it was wrong of me not to come to rehearsal today. So, I wrote an apology. Well, actually, I will do it off the top of my head.

I would like to apologize to Colin Jost.

[Cut to Kanye West and Colin Jost] [yelling at Colin Jost] I’m sorry, Colin Jost.

Colin Jost: Thank you very much. I accept your apology.

Kanye West: [loud voice] No question, fam! My apology is on the level of Jesus. Hah! And right now, I just wanna get a greatest apology of all time, fam!

Colin Jost: Okay, that sounds great.

Kanye West: It is, fam. Drop that!

[Hiphop beat playing] [Kanye West gets a mic] [A girl comes close to Kanye dancing.] [rapping]¬†I’m sorry

[The girl starts singing in the background]

I got so many things to apologize for, so buckle up
I’m sorry
those Llamas that escaped from my private menagerie
I’m sorry
that I saw my own shadow that’s six more weeks of winne
I’m sorry
to the movie Selma for thinking that song Glory was all about me
I’m sorry
On this day, I turn a new leaf
I apologize to everyone
from the latest to the haters
to the waiter who took my order
when I said, “I’ll have a Kanye once.”
to all that I missed, over the years I dissed
and still getting killed for what I said to Taylor Swift
for shifting the blame, for taking your claim
for giving my baby North a directional name
I’m sorry
that I asked Apple to autocorrect the word Beck to Beyonce
I’m sorry
to Michael Keaton, I should have voted for you for the best acted instead of my self
I’m sorry
that this incredible apology is setting a bar too high for anybody else
I’m sorry

This has been the greatest apology of all time, fam! Ain’t it Colin? Hah?

Colin Jost: Yes, very humble. Kanye West, everybody!

[cheers and applause]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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