Pope Francis… Kyle Mooney[Starts with Colin Jost in his set]
Colin Jost: Pope Francis came to the United States last week visiting Washington DC, Philadelphia and our very own, New York city. Here to tell us about his trip is Pope Francis.[Pope Francis slides in]
Pope Francis: [in Argentinian accent] What up, Jost? Give me that! Give me that! [does fist bump with Colin Jost] What a big set. Respect.
Michael Che: What’s up, bro?
Pope Francis: [patting his chest] Respect!
Colin Jost: So, Pope Francis, how was your stay in the United States?
Pope Francis: My trip was dope. DC was a little boring. [Cut to Pope Francis] Philly had some cuties, but New York was the best and tightest place to be. First thing though, I had to give a mass at the St. Patrick’s cathedral which to me was like a major snooze. But then I played in the Madison Square Garden and I crushed it. Then I went at the party with my disciples. Shout out to Jon Paul, Jio Sappi, Christiano, Leonardo and homie [pats his chest] Dwayne Wayne![Cut to Pope Francis and Colin Jost]
Colin Jost: Okay, yeah. What did you guys get into?
Pope Francis: Yo! The real fun started aftermath. [Cut to Pope Francis] We went to Brooklyn and hit up the shuffle board place and had some free pizza. A Hawaiian pizza. That’s a pizza with pineapple and ham.[Cut to Pope Francis and Colin Jost]
Colin Jost: Alright, yes. That sounds pretty chill.
Pope Francis: Oh, it was so chill. It was on a house-boat[Colin Jost didn’t understand] [Cut to Pope Francis]
After that we went to a namless chapel on the lower east side with a bartender who only speaks in backwards. And check it, the password was, “Emojis”. You had to figure out the way to express them with your face. Like this. [Pope Francis making emoji faces] [Cut to Pope Francis and Colin Jost]
Colin Jost: Very cool. Yeah! And what was it like when you got inside?
Pope Francis: The cast of girls minus Lina was much in awesome artisan and all sugar carers. [Colin Jost didn’t understand a thing] So scrubs. [Cut to Pope Francis] One thing led to another. I wrote this 90 song like Karaoke Garage, you had to do the confession. Mose death is there. And we start belting out. [singing] Closing time.[Cut to Pope Francis and Colin Jost] [Colin Jost didn’t understand anything]
Colin Jost: I’m sorry. You were with Mose death?
Pope Francis: Shh! You wouldn’t get it. And, I’m always look at the party. Ay! Hit me up in your prayers!
Colin Jost: Pope Francis, everyone!
Pope Francis: Many god blesses to you!