Weekend Update Riblet


Michael Che

Riblet… Bobby Moynihan

[Starts with Michael Che in his news set.]

Michael Che: The Obama administration has released a new rating system to evaluate–

Male voice: Hey! Psst! Hey Che!

Michael Che: –to evaluate colleges that places them in one of three–

Male voice: Ayo! Che! Yo, you almost done, kid?

Michael Che: [looking around] Are you serious right now?

[Riblet slides in]

Riblet: Yo, what’s going on, man?

Michael Che: Yo!

Riblet: Come on, man! I’m double port! Let’s go!

Michael Che: Yo, what are you doing?

Riblet: Yo, are we live right now? Yo! Introduce me, kid!

Michael Che: I’m sorry, everyone. This is my friend from high school, Riblet.

Riblet: Yeah! It’s Riblet, baby. 2015!

Michael Che: No, Riblet. What are you dong here, man? I’m kind of busy.

Riblet: Oh. So, what? So, you busy now? So what? You a Hollywood now, Che? What’s going on man?

Michael Che: I’m not Hollywood. I’m just trying to work hard.

Riblet: Oh, what? Oh, because I work at Friendly’s that means I don’t work hord?

Michael Che: Yes, because you work at Friendly’s, you don’t word hord!

Riblet: Come on, man! This job ain’t that hord! Come on, man! You got it all written down on big old pieces of papers. Your job is reading, man! I’ve been doing that since I was 15. Man, this mess is easy. Yo, check it.

[Cut to Riblet replacing Michael Che. There’s a picture of a map at right top corner.]

Um, new report lists the unhealthiest state in the country as Mississippi. But only because Arkansas died of a heart-attack.

[Cut to Riblet and Michael Che]

Ooh-ooh! Whee! Now make me a fribble. Oh, what’s that? Oh, you don’t know how to make a Friendly’s fribble? Oh, that’s weird because Riblet could do both jorbs!

Michael Che: Alright, Riblet. That was pretty good. I’ll admit. But, there’s a lot more to this job, man! Just go wait in the car, dude!

Riblet: Oh-ho-ho-ho! Oh, so now you scared that if Riblet stick around, Riblet might take your jorb?

Michael Che: Riblet, you cannot take my jorb.

Riblet: Oh, yeah? Well, this just in fools.

[Cut to Riblet. There’s a picture of a city and Amazon logo at right top corner.]

Amazon has launched a one hour delivery service in New York city. “Faster!” said people who ordered toilet papers.

[Cut to Riblet and Michael Che]

Prrrrt! Stick up! Prrrt! Prrrt! Stick up. Pow-pow-pow-pow! Now make me a Friendly Frank. Oh, what’s that? You did not know that a Friendly Frank is just a hotdog with butter on it? Oh, I guess you don’t work as hord!

Michael Che: I’m just saying there’s other things to consider if you wanna do this job, okay? There’s other things that we got to think about.

Riblet: Prfft! I thought of all of it. Yo, Dan, roll that clip homey!

[Cut to Weekend Update intro that features Colin Jost and Riblet.] [Cut to Riblet.]

Wad up? I’m Riblet. And here are tonight’s tippy-top stories.

[There is a picture of Department of Labor logo at right top corner.]

The labor department announced that last month employers added more than 250,000 jobs. But it looks like [Picture changes to Michael Che] this fool just lost his.

[Cut to Riblet and Michael Che] [Riblet stands up, grabs the mic and then drops the mic on the table.] [cheers and applause]

You changed, B!

Michael Che: My friend from high schook, Riblet, everybody!

Riblet: Riblet for the President. Woo-hoo!

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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