Aladin Magic Carpet Ride

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Jasmine… Cecily Strong

Aladin… Adam Driver

Leslie Jones

Beck Bennett

[Starts with Jasmine and Aladin flying over the clouds on the magic carpet]

Jasmine: Aladin, we’re so high up. I’ve never flown on a magic carpet before.

Aladin: It’s beautiful, isn’t it? But not as beautiful as you.

[singing] I can show you the world
shining, shimmering, splendid
tell me princess now when did you last let your heart decide?

Jasmine: A whole new world
a new fantasy point of view

Jasmine and Aladin: No one to tell us no or where to go

[a bird comes flying to Jasmine and dies in her hands]

Aladin: I really like you Jasmine. You’re different. Do you like meat.

Jasmine: Yes, I do. I’m sorry. Some kind of fat bird just hit my mouth. I need a minute.

Aladin: You’ll be alright, Jasmine. You’re safe with me. Just look how far we can see

Jasmine: Yeah, fish and it’s peak. Just, slow down a little. Okay? Like, I’m still into it. Just that was a lot.

Aladin: [singing] A whole new world
a dazzling place you never knew

Jasmine: But when I’m way up here, it’s crystal clear

Jasmine and Aladin: That now I’m in a whole new world with you.

[a missile falls on Aladin’s head]

Jasmine: Oh, bomb, bomb, bomb! There’s a bomb.

Aladin: Oh, shoot! We must be over Syria.

Jasmine: Oh! I think I pissed my little thing I’m wearing.

Aladin: You’re not sorry you came with me, are you?

Jasmine: Oh, no, no, no. This is magical.

Aladin: [singing] I can open your eyes
take you wonder by wonder
over sideways and under
on a magic carpet ride

Jasmine and Aladin: A whole new world
a new fantasy point of view
no one to tell us no or where to go

[gross liquid thing pours on Jasmine]

Jasmine: No! No! No! What just happened?

Aladin: [looking above] Oh, I think an airplane just emptied it’s toilet in the sky.

Jasmine: Um, Aladin, take me back to the palace.

Aladin: Wait, quiet. Something’s wrong with the carpet. I’ve gotta make some fast decisions now.

Jasmine: What’s going on?

Aladin: We’re losing altitude. I gonna try to put it down at that air-force space.

[Cut to Leslie and Beck at the base. They’re wearing military dresses.]

Leslie: Did you taste Charice’s cookies that she brought to the airport?

[Beck nods his head]

Now, a lot of people don’t like hard cookies. You know what I mean–

Beck: Hey, hang on Chris. We’ve got a distress call coming in.

[Cut to Jasmine and Aladin. Aladin is wearing a headphone.]

Aladin: May-day. May-day. Requesting emergency landing.

[Cut to Leslie and Beck]

Leslie: I see you pilot. You are clear for landing.

Beck: This is gonna be nuts.

Leslie: God be with them.

[Cut to Jasmine and Aladin landing at the air-base] [Cut to Leslie and Beck]

Leslie: They did it. They landed.

Beck: And look, they’re in love.

[Cut to Jasmine and Aladin]

Aladin: [singing] A whole new world
that’s where we’ll be
a wondrous place

Jasmine and Aladin: For you and me…

[Cut to Leslie and Beck looking at Jasmine and Aladin. Beck tries to kiss Leslie.]

Leslie: I am married!

Beck: How come you never talk about it then?

[The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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