Bachelorette Party

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Vanessa Bayer

Kate McKinnon

Melissa Villaseñor

Grammy… Aidy Bryant

Heather… Cecily Strong

Brad… Mikey Day

Roy… Benedict Cumberbatch

[Starts with three ladies planning a surprise party]

Vanessa: Okay, Heather just texted, she and Grammy are outside. Everyone hide.

Kate: Okay. Okay.

[Everyone hides] [Cut to Grammy and Heather getting in.]

Grammy: Oh, I’m just saying it was so cold in the restaurant that I ruined my dinner.

Heather: Okay, okay. Grammy, we are all so happy that you’re getting remarried at 83.

Grammy: Okay, Heather, why are you doing a speech at me in the dark?

Heather: I know you didn’t want a bachelorette party, so we had to make it a…

[ladies who were hiding come out]

All: Surprise!

[Grammy is shocked]

Kate: Ha-ha! Look at her. She had no idea. Ha-ha-ha.

[Grammy is still shocked]

Melissa: Hurry, hurry. Get her in the chair.

All: [hooting] In the chair! In the chair!

[Grammy slowly takes Heather to the chair. But Heather dies of shock but nobody notices it.]

Melissa: Alright, that’s better. Here we go. [putting a party-glasses and props on her]

Vanessa: Ha-ha-ha. Gentlemen! She is ready.

[Two young men dressed as construction workers walk in with a boombox.]

Brad: Hey, we’re from the construction company.

Roy: We have a delivery of some heavy wood.

Kate: Ha-ha! [pointing at Grammy] Ester is speechless. We finally found a way to shut her up.

Roy: Hey Brad, crank a tune.

Brad: Oh, yeah.

[Brad turns on a rock song and they start stripping for Grammy]

Heather: Alright!

[Brad and Roy throw their shirts on Grammy’s face. It’s stuck there.]

No, no, no. No hiding, Grammy. [Heather pulls the shirts off her face]

Brad: Hey! Should we get Grammy a fun sandwich, Roy?

Roy: Let’s do it.

[Heather and Melissa are so excited] [Brad and Roy push Grammy’s head back and forth on their crotches.] [Ladies are cheering]

Kate: Oh, biscuits! This is wild!

Vanessa: I know. Grammy, are you loving it?

[The gentlemen are twerking on Grammy’s face]

Brad: I think she worked up quite an apetite. Roy?

Roy: Yeah! Well, I’m hungry?

Brad: Let’s get her some dessert.

[Brad sprays creme on his belly and rubs it on Grammy’s face]

Yeah! Yeah!

[Roy starts to spray creme on Grammy’s mouth]

Roy: Eat em all.

Brad: You want cherry on that bad boy?

Roy: Do it! You know I like cherry.

[Brad puts a cherry on top of creme that’s on Grammy’s mouth]

Brad: Woo. Yeah, get it.

[Roy eats the cherry off of Grammy’s mouth]

Roy: Oh, my favorite flavor, her mouth.

Brad: Yeah!

Melissa: Hey boys, give us a taste.

Heather: Yeah. Yeah. Wooo!

[Brad and Roy start twerking on other ladies]

Kate: Oh my goodness! Ester! Ester! I’m still in your man over here. Look out.

Heather: Oh my god, look, Grammy’s so embarrassed that she’s trying to hide.

[Grammy us just slipping down from the chair. She falls on the floor. She is lying facing down.]

Kate: Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I have never seen anything like this.

[Brad and Roy rolls Grammy’s body over]

Heather: Grammy, get up. Just have fun.

Brad: Yes, stop hiding from us. We actually like her on the floor.

Roy: Yeah. She can be like, the spar for our full body workout.

Brad: Yeah.

[Brad and Roy do the workout on Grammy] [Melissa and Heather are very excited]

Vanessa: Grammy, when Herman hears about this, you’re dead.

[Brad pulls Grammy up]

Brad: Come here, baby. Ooh! Up!

Kate: You know, I really love what your generation has done with this bachelorette party.

Brad: Oh my god! Ma’am? Ma’am?

Vanessa: What’s wrong?

Roy: Um, your grammy is like, our onethousandth customer.

Brad: Which means, she gets a free dance from the world series champion, Chicago Cubs.

[Three more gentlemen enter the room] [cheers and applause]

Heather: Oh, my god! Those are the real Chicago Cubs!

Gentleman: What’s up, girls? Who wants to hear the Grammy slam?

Ross: Don’t worry Grandma, Grandpa Ross is gonna take good care of you.

Gentleman: It’s your lucky night, we’re about to pull a triple header.

Brad: Ooh! You heard the Cubs. Let’s play ball.

[music playing] [All the gentlemen are stripping for Grammy]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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