Black Jeopardy Drake

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Darnell Hayes… Kenan Thompson

Amir… Jay Pharoah

Kaylee… Sasheer Zamata

Jared… Drake

[Starts with Black Jeopardy intro]

Male voice: This is Black Jeopardy.

[Cut to Darnell in his set]

Darnell: What up? What up? What up? Welcome to Black Jeopardy. The only jeopardy that shares a studio with Tavin Smiley. I’m your host, Darnell Hayes. And our contestants  today are Amir…

[Cut to Amir.]

Amir: What up, bro, bro?

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Kaylee…

[Cut to Kaylee]

Kaylee: Hi.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: And Jared…

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Yeah, it’s actually really good to be her dog. You know, like I couldn’t take the TTC. What man’s made it over anyway, so I’m excited dog.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: What’s going on with your accent there, Jared?

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Oh me? Well, I’m actually Canadian. I’m a Canadian. I’m from Toronto. But I’m ready. I came, I came to play. So let’s do this. All right.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Wait, you’re a black Canadian?

Jared: Obviously, dog. I mean like, yo, there’s thousands of us. I’m sure you’ve met a few of us before.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: [laughing] Nope. Never met one. Well, good luck to you. All right, let’s check out categories. We got [Cut to game screen] “If it’s Sunday”, “Oh, snap!”, “Bye Felicia!”, “Bruh…”, “In my house”, and as always, “White people”. Alright Amir, you’re all returning champ. You pick.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Okay. Let’s do “If it’s Sunday” for 200.

Darnell: All right. “If it’s Sunday, uncle Trey is going to be wearing this.”

[buzzer sound]

Amir.

Amir: What is this? A knee length easter suit

Darnell: Yeah. That’s it. Yeah. Long as hell. Long as hell, with a whole mess of buttons. Alright. Your pick, Amir.

[Cut to Amir]

Amir: Okay, okay, okay. Let’s go to “Oh snap!” for 200.

Darnell: Alright. “Oh snap! Is that your hair?”

[buzzers sound]

Kaylee?

Kaylee: What is, “It’s mine cause I bought it!”

Darnell: Yeah, that’s right. That’s right. Show them the receipt, you know. Alright. The board is yours, Keely.

[Cut to Kaylee]

Okay, let’s stay with, “Oh snap!” for 400.

Darnell: Alright. “Oh snap. I want to see his face when she finds him.”

[buzzer sound]

Amir.

Amir: Oh, who is Jay Z?

Darnell: Yeah. Right. I guess he got a hundred problems now. You pick, Amir.

Amir: Okay. [Cut to Amir] Cool, cool, cool. Let’s say with “Oh snap!” for 600.

Darnell: Okay. “Oh snap! This comedian was crazy in the 80s with his raw and delirious routines.”

[buzzer sound]

Jared.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Oh, he’s hilarious. Dog. Who is Rick Maraniss?

Darnell: No! But, that’s a good try, Jared. Why don’t you try picking another category?

Jared: Alright the. Let’s go to “Bro” for 200.

Darnell: It’s “Bruh”. All right. The answer. “Bruh… He thought the best way to get that fame was to be a woman.”

[buzzer sound]

Jared.

Jared: Who is Caitlin Jenner?

Darnell: No. Have some respect for choice.

[buzzer sound]

Kaylee.

[Cut to Kaylee]

Kaylee: Who is Tyler Perry?

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: That’s it. I mean he did like eight movies in a house coat. Alright, the board is your’s, Kaylee.

[Cut to Kaylee]

Kaylee: Let’s stay with “Bruh…” for 400.

Darnell: Alright. “Bruh… He’s been playing for a while now, but he’s still putting up big numbers.”

[buzzer sound]

Jared.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: This is easy. Who’s my man? Jaromir Yawger yo!

[Cut to Darnell]

You say Yama say what now?

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Come on, dog! He’s a hockey player. The man won the Art Ross trophy four years in a row, fam.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: J-J-Jared! I don’t know you speaking English, but it ain’t my English. The actual answer was dirt. The biscuit.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Come on, Darnell. Black people live all over the world. Gee. You can’t just put us all into one category like…

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Hey, maybe. So Jared, I’m going to go ahead and let you tell that to our American police. Let’s just hear about today. Francis Johnny!

[Cut to Black Jeopardy video bumper]

Male Voice: Thanks Darnell. Today’s black jeopardy winner will receive a month supply of topFoil. Your tupperware bowls don’t have lids? Put some top topfoil on. Stays secure for up to one day. And Oven Heat. Don’t drive up your electric bill. Use oven heat! The easy way to heat your home. Back to you, Darnell.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: Yeah. Yeah. Use that oven heat. Alright, Jared. The board is still your’s.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Oh! Let’s go to “Oh snap!” for eight.

Darnell: Alright. “Oh snap. His new album just dropped and it’s fire.”

[buzzer sound]

Jared.

Jared: I got this. Who is OFA?

Darnell: Excuse me?

Jared:  Come on, fam! He’s a rapper. He was nominated for a Juno award, G.

[Cut to Darnell]

Darnell: You know it’s like it landed here on earth from a spaceship. No, good rap comes from Canada. Okay? What about Drake? Dog! Who are these people you keep mentioning? Jared, I think Canada is messing up with your blackness.

[Cut to Jared]

Jared: Why do I have to be your definition of black? Huh? You’re judging me before you even know? It’s making me so angry inside dog!

[right answer bell ringing]

Darnell: You just said the secret black phrase of the day, Jared! You win the game. Alright. [music playing] Oh! Well the sound of slow jam means it’s time to wrap it up. Tune in next week where we give away two tickets to the Sister-Sister reunion show.

[The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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