Dead Bopz


Bing Crosby… Beck Bennett

[Starts with a hologram of Bing Crosby sitting on a sofa]

Bing Crosby: [singing] Tu-du-du-du.

Hello there. I’m Bing Crosby. Crooner, actor, and did I mention I’m [singing] du-bi-du-bi dead!

So, how am I talking to you now? Through the magic of holograms of course. Thanks to this exciting new science from the 90s, we can recreate great artists from the past and make them sing the songs of today. Introducing Dead Bopz. Featuring performances like this from Mr. Roy Orbison.

[Cut to video clip of Roy Orbison singing ‘Sorry’ by Justin Bieber]

You can find that more on this great compilation disc right here.

[Bing Crosby is trying to hold the disc but he can’t as he’s just a hologram]

Do you like Rihanna but wish she was actually Eartha Kitt?

[Cut to video clip of Ertha Kitt singing ‘Bitch Better Have My Money’ by Rihanna]

And we’ve got over three more. Paul Robeson was one of the great singers and civil rights leaders of his day. We used to compute him and make him sing Trap Queen.

[Cut to video clip of Paul Robeson singing ‘Trap Queen’ by Fetty Wap]

Quick, somebody give that hologram a holo-Grammy! Not my joke, guys. I’m just laser beams. And there’s more. Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, more like Ginger Rogers feat. Fred Astaire.

[Cut to Ginver Rogers and Fred Astaire singing ‘Give me everything’ by Pitbull. They sing and then start tap-dancing.]

And of course, Selena Gomez. As sung by the Selena Gomez of the 50s.

[Cut to Aidy Bryant dancing and singing ‘Hands to myself’. There’s are a lot of glitches.]

Still working out the case. Just ignore that while America’s sweetheart Leslie Gore throws down this ratchet club banger by miss Nicki Minaj.

[Cut to video clip of Leslie Gore singing ‘Dance Ass’ by Nicki Minaj] [Bing Crosby’s hologram is drooling at Leslie Gore]

And of course you can’t mention singing holograms without Tupac showing up. Here he is with his hardcore response to all the haters out there.

[Cut to video clip of Tupac singing ‘Shake it off’ by Taylor Swift.]

Male voice: Dead Bopz.

Bing Crosby: Bye!

[Bing Crosby’s hologram disappears] [The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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