Drake Monologue



[Starts with SNL monologue intro.] [band is playing music one the stage]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Drake.

[Drake walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]

Drake: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. It’s great to be back on SNL. Where’s Toronto at? Toronto in the house tonight? Yeah? So, as you can tell,¬†I’m from Canada and I know what you’re thinking, but no, you can not move in with me if Trump wins. I’m sorry. That’s a no. I really am glad to be here, but you’ll have to excuse me if I seem a little upset. Backstage, right before I came out, my friend showed me this meme he found online and it, and it just, it really shook me. It was a picture of me dancing in my Hotline Bling video and some joker had put a caption on it that said “when you farted and got away with it.” And if I’m being real, like it hurts, you know. Seems like this keeps happening to me. I dunno. It’s almost like all I can do is sing about it. So…

[Drake gets a mic]

I’m ready.

[singing] Drink Swiss with some old friends
That’s when it happens again
I start I hearing from a whole fam

that I got cloud on Instagram
trying to hide my reaction
when I read the funny caption
feels like I’m in a bad dream
cause I got turned into another meme, yeah.

I just wanna scream
that I’m more than a meme, that’s right
I just wanna scream
that I’m more than a meme, that’s right
catch me looking with those bedroom eyes
asking if you’re gonna finish those fries?
trying to say you really care about me
But then you put my picture on E T

how can I explain to my mama
when you got my beard on Obama
I do not complain, I’m not a whiner,
but why am I sitting on the Seinfeld diner?
I feel like I’m swimming up stream
against everybody’s memes
Why do they attack me?
And then in fact my favorite team

Look, I’m not just a picture, I have feelings too

Like how would you feel if it happened to you?
if I came after you did a meme or hurting?
Yeah, cause your sketch got cut at the dress rehearsal? Aidy?
What if I found your moment of pain
and use the ball Mount comedy game
now you know what I mean?
I am more than a memed

and look, I get that my face is expressive,
but some of that means all that an aggressive,
I would just say it’s a little excessive
when you go make me the face of Progressive

and the meaning gets distorted
I can only help but feel like crying Jorda
I’m more than a meme

Oh ladies and gentlemen, do I have a treat for you tonight? Rihanna is here tonight. Make some noise.

[Rihanna’s ‘Work’ starts playing]

[Drake wears a wig]

Oh, I’m so excited to be here. Oh my god! Oh my god!


See Drake in a meme, meme, meme, meme, meme, meme
But I got them unseen, seen, seen, seen, seen, seen
I swear we only friend, friend, friend, friend, friends

Alright, Rihanna is incredible. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for her, please.

For me it’s take it as a side of self esteem
feels like I’m the victim of the internet scheme
It’s just hard than it seems
You don’t love me for me, you just love me for memes

Listen, we’ve got a great show. Drake is here as musical guest. Stick around, we’ll be right back.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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