Dunkin Donuts

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Female voice: Deck the halls with boughs of doughnuts. Real customers are telling you why their holidays run on Dunkin.

Vanessa (actual customer): All I want for Christmas is a Dunkin Pepper Mint Dunke-ccino.

Aidy (actual customer): With the Dunkin app, I can order and pay on my smartphone.  So my coffee is waiting when I come in.

Casey (actual customer): I f***ing love Dunkin. What are you talking about?

Alex (actual customer): Where else can I get a breakfast and the perfect stocking stuffer?

Casey (actual customer): You wanna talk real customers? Kid, that’s me. I’m like the mayor of Dunkins. This is the face of Dunkin Donuts right here.

Staff: Hey, you can’t smoke in here, man.

Casey (actual customer): I’m not! Come on, I’m not smoking in here.

[Casey has his hand holding cigarette out of the window]

Staff: You’re smoking in here.

Casey (actual customer): Cigarette’s outside. Is there a cigarette inside?

Staff: It’s coming in through the crack of the window.

Casey (actual customer): Yeah, I come to Dunkin every day. Grab a donut, have an extra large, take a big dump, that’s kind of the routine. Then I’m gonna seat right over there.  This douchebag will move when I’m ready.

Female voice: And with Dunkin rewards app, there’s even more reason to celebrate the season.

Casey (actual customer): Yo! Free coffee! I got the big one! I got a free coffee right there on the app. [showing his phone that’s all broken.]

Alex (actual customer): What are you doing here? Story telling or something? Huh?

Casey (actual customer): Well then, show and tell Dunkin Nuts! [Caseu covers “Do” out of “Dunkin Donuts”] Show that, brother.

Melissa (actual employee): It’s a season for holiday drinks like–

Casey (actual customer): Never mind that. Hey, interview my buddy Dewey for the movie right in. Dewey, tell them what your favorite donut is.

Dewey: No, I don’t want to be in it.

Casey (actual customer): Come on, pal. It’s a movie. Tell them how you like the vanilla nut taps.

Dewey: What?

Casey (actual customer): The vanilla nut taps. [hits Dewey on his nuts]

Dewey: Ou! You dog!

[Dewey pushes Casey.]

Casey (actual customer): [pushing Dewey back] It’s just a joke. Cut your nails for god sake!

Dewey: I couldn’t breathe, Donny! Oh, yeah, go outside.

Casey (actual customer): Best part of my day is when I’m at Dunkin. Do you think that’s sad?

Alex (actual customer): Yes, very.

Female voice: Real customers know the holidays run on Dunkin.

[Casey hits Alex’s car with a coffee]

Dewey: Go back to Starbucks!

[The End]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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