Finest Girl (Bin Laden Song)

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[Andy Samberg Music video starts]

Andy Samberg: [singing] Finest girl I ever met in my whole life
Wanted to take her home, make her my wife
Knew she was a freak when she started talking

She said, “fuck me like we fucked Bin Laden”

That girl was freak
She said she wanted me to fuck her harder then the military

Fucked Bin Laden

Fuck Bin Laden
Fuck Bin Laden

She wanted to fuck me harder then the US government
Fucked Bin Laden

[rapping] She was a freaky kind of girl
Kept up with current events from all around the world
More specifically one event
The time Osama Bin Laden got shot in the head
She said “do me like that”
But I couldn’t track the metaphor
That said I can see you horny like a Stegosaur
That said again your request is so irregular
She put on a beard, I started looking at the exit door
Then a turban
Then a tunic
She said “invade my cave with your special unit”
I said “he wasn’t in a cave”, but there was no stopping
She demanded that I fuck her like we

[singing] Fucked Bin Laden
Fuck Bin Laden
Fuck Bin Laden

She wanted to fuck me harder then the US government
Fucked Bin Laden

This girl requested intercourse to bring her to climax
With the clinical efficiency of the assassination of Bin Laden

[rapping] You’re harboring a fugitive (that ass)
My justice will be punitive (I’ma smash)
Night-vision, they can see us through my go-pro
She tried to negotiate, I said that’s a no-no
Now I’m creeping in her bed room like go-go
She tells me to go low then looks down and tells me that I gotta
“Terrorize that pussy”
“Gotta terrorize that pussy”
So I did it, improvise some crazy shit
Seal Team sixty-nine sexecuting the hit
She said “now you’ve finished me off, throw my body in the ocean”
I yell “geronimo!” and took some pictures for posting
The President called, he said “congratulations Connor”
I said “Mr. President, to what do I owe this honor?”
He said “come give me the deets in the White House garden
I gots to know how you fucked her like we

[singing] Fucked Bin Laden”
Fuck Bin Laden
Fuck Bin Laden

I still can’t say that I see the appeal, but she wanted me to fuck her like we fucked Bin Laden

Oh, this girl insisted that that the way we did it was merciless and exact sanity attack
Just like the now-famous attack that fucked
Osama Bin Laden

[Andy Sambers wakes up on a couch]

Damn, the whole thing was a virtual reality experience.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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