Tom Hanks
Vanessa Bayer
Tabi Gelfarb… Cecily Strong
Aidy Bryant
[Starts with CBS comedies intro]Announcer: When it comes to viewers, CBS comedies are number one. But with cable and streaming shows like Golden Globe winning comedy ‘Transparent’ and Emmy winning comedy ‘Orange is the new Black’, we don’t win awards anymore. Until now! This Thursday, get ready for CBS’s funniest, cable-y-est, most award worthy comedy ever!
[Cut to five people sitting in a living room] [slow piano music playing]Tom: I’m tired of being tired.
Vanessa : I wanna rip off my skin, throw it in the trash.
[Cut to Broken video bumper]Announcer: It’s ‘Broken’, CBS’s brand new sitcom about a family of professors who were all diagnosed with depression on the same day. And throughout 30 minutes, it’s a comedy. So move over Tambor, coz Broken’s got the hilarious Tabi Gelfarb.
[Cut to Tabi Gelfarb]Tabi Gelfarb: [fighting] Yeah! I like to be hit when I have sex. Are you happy now, dad? But I’m also your daughter! [crying] And I have crohn’s disease.
Announcer: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Best comedy, here we come. And you thought that was funny? Watch as the gang navigates love, life and buckle up, sex over 50.
[Cut to video where Tom and Vanessa are about to get intimate but Tom stops.]Vanessa : What’s wrong?
Tom: I was just thinking.
Vanessa : About what?
Tom: Our ancestors. How they lived, how they laughed. Who they loved.
Vanessa : Soon, we’ll be the ancestors.
Announcer: Ha-ha-ha-ha. Did you hear the word ‘laughed’? That’s what keeps this a comedy. And if you love to LOL, you’ll love when the oldest daughter walks around touching every thing in their living room for 30 god-busting minutss. [Cut to video of Aidy touching everything that’s in the living room]
So funny. It’s the show fans are calling “This is a drama.” So, watch ‘Broken’ because it’s not just a comedy, it’s also a musical.
[Cut to Tom’s family singing prayers before dinner.]Hear that Tonys? Broken, Thursdays on CBS. Please let us come to award shows again. They’re so freaking fun!
