God is a Boob Man Trailer

Beth… Vanessa Bayer

Taran Killam

Jon Rudnitsky

Sasheer Zamata

Schmul… Kyle Mooney

Judge… Kenan Thompson

Cecily Strong

Governor… Bobby Moynihan

[Starting of a movie trailer]

Male voice: Beth was a small town baker without a care.

[Taran walks in Beth’s bakery[

Taran: Hi there. I’d like to order a wedding cake.

Beth: Of course. Where is the lucky bride?

[Taran looks around]

Taran: He is right here.

[Jon walks to Taran and holds him]

Male voice: Until her fate was tested.

Taran: Now, make the cake.

Male voice: They wanted her to spit in the face of god.

[Beth is making the cake while Taran and Jon are watching]

Taran: I said make the cake.

Beth: I can’t do it.

Male voice: From the makers of God on the Run and Angel in Denim: The Kim Davis Story.

[Cut to Beth and Sasheer behind their bakery.]

Sasheer: What are you thinking? Gays are the most powerful force in America.

Male voice: A story of liberal elites run wild.

Taran: You’ll be hearing from our Jewish lawyer.

[Cut to Beth called in for the case]

Schmul : My name is Schmul from the SOU. You are in lot of trouble, Beth.

Beth: What do you people want from me?

Schmul : My clients just need you to say three simple words.

Taran: [counting the words in his fingers] God is gay.

Beth: But he is not gay. God is as straight as they come.

Schmul : Then I guess we’ll be seeing you in court.

[Cut to Beth walking to the court. The song ‘Fight Song’ by Rachel Platten is playing.]

Beth: Gays are trying to force their agenda. They’re even teaching it in school.

Male voice: Only she has the courage to say.

Beth: [To Sasheer] They say we’re bigot but Christians are the most oppressed group in this country.

Sasheer: Maybe!

Beth: But I’m gonna prove once and for all that god is straight.

[talking in court] If god is gay then why aren’t there any gay priests?

Judge: Miss Walsh, you are on thin ice. You know god is gay. Just admit it!

Beth: No.

Male voice: She needed an aliy.

[Cut to governor’s meeting]

Cecily: Governor, we are the poorest state in the country, second in obesity, third in teen pregnancy. We have to do something.

[Beth walks in the meeting]

Governor: Well, hold that thought. [To Beth] What’s wrong ma’am?

Beth: I wanna deny basic goods and services to gay people.

Governor: [looks around] Everybody out. This is the priority now.

[Cut to the court]

Judge: Last chance miss Walsh. Let’s hear it.

[Beth stands]

Beth: God… is… [Taran and Jon are watching her] a boob man!

[everybody in the court cheer for her]

Male voice: God is a Boob Man. Rated R for graphic gay sexual content.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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