Beth… Vanessa Bayer
Schmul… Kyle Mooney
Judge… Kenan Thompson
Governor… Bobby Moynihan[Starting of a movie trailer]
Male voice: Beth was a small town baker without a care.
Taran: Hi there. I’d like to order a wedding cake.
Beth: Of course. Where is the lucky bride?[Taran looks around]
Taran: He is right here.[Jon walks to Taran and holds him]
Male voice: Until her fate was tested.
Taran: Now, make the cake.
Male voice: They wanted her to spit in the face of god.[Beth is making the cake while Taran and Jon are watching]
Taran: I said make the cake.
Beth: I can’t do it.
Male voice: From the makers of God on the Run and Angel in Denim: The Kim Davis Story.[Cut to Beth and Sasheer behind their bakery.]
Sasheer: What are you thinking? Gays are the most powerful force in America.
Male voice: A story of liberal elites run wild.
Taran: You’ll be hearing from our Jewish lawyer.[Cut to Beth called in for the case]
Schmul : My name is Schmul from the SOU. You are in lot of trouble, Beth.
Beth: What do you people want from me?
Schmul : My clients just need you to say three simple words.
Taran: [counting the words in his fingers] God is gay.
Beth: But he is not gay. God is as straight as they come.
Schmul : Then I guess we’ll be seeing you in court.[Cut to Beth walking to the court. The song ‘Fight Song’ by Rachel Platten is playing.]
Beth: Gays are trying to force their agenda. They’re even teaching it in school.
Male voice: Only she has the courage to say.
Beth: [To Sasheer] They say we’re bigot but Christians are the most oppressed group in this country.
Beth: But I’m gonna prove once and for all that god is straight.[talking in court] If god is gay then why aren’t there any gay priests?
Judge: Miss Walsh, you are on thin ice. You know god is gay. Just admit it!
Male voice: She needed an aliy.[Cut to governor’s meeting]
Cecily: Governor, we are the poorest state in the country, second in obesity, third in teen pregnancy. We have to do something.[Beth walks in the meeting]
Governor: Well, hold that thought. [To Beth] What’s wrong ma’am?
Beth: I wanna deny basic goods and services to gay people.
Governor: [looks around] Everybody out. This is the priority now.[Cut to the court]
Judge: Last chance miss Walsh. Let’s hear it.[Beth stands]
Beth: God… is… [Taran and Jon are watching her] a boob man![everybody in the court cheer for her]
Male voice: God is a Boob Man. Rated R for graphic gay sexual content.