Jingle Barack (Chance the Rapper)

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Kenan Thompson

Chance the Rapper

Leslie Jones

[Starts with 1 and 2 walking in with big jewelry chains on. It looks like an old-school hiphop music video.] [music playing]

Speaker 1: Yo! It’s been a dope eight years but now we got one last Christmas with Barack Obama. So if we going out, we going out with a bang!

Speaker 2: Let’s get Holly and Jolly, y’all! shall we?

Speaker 1: [rapping] It’s December 24th in the USA
and the party’s going down in a major way
the DJ is bopping

Speaker 2: Crazy snow outside!

Speaker 1: There’s eggnog

Speaker 2: And chicken

Speaker 1: And turkey

1 and 2: And fries.

Speaker 1: We still got Barack

Speaker 2: So you now what that means

Speaker 1: We shooting some hoops

1 and 2: In high waist jeans.

Speaker 1: So test this season

1 and 2: Let’s spread some cheer

Speaker 1: It’s the last Christmas

1 and 2: With Barack still here.

Speaker 1: La-la-la-la-last Christmas
Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Barack still here

Speaker 1: Hey kids, enjoy the presents while you can
coz next year you might get a bomb from Iran
man, we got birth control under the tree
and we stuffing every stocking with legal weed

Hey, Brad

Speaker 2: Hey, Mike

1 and 2: Get married tonight

Speaker 1: And real quick, let all the immigrants inside
So go nuts–

Speaker 2: Before the north poles disappear

Speaker 1: Coz it’s the last Christmas

1 and 2: Before Trump next year.

Speaker 1: La-la-la-la-last Christmas
Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Barack still here

La-la-la-la-last Christmas
Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-before Trump next year.

Speaker 1: Oh, snap! Even Jesus is getting down.

Speaker 2: Dang, Jesus. I didn’t know you were a democrat.

This year I bought four Christmas trees
stock piled all the Home Alone DVDs
I got batteries, can food, everything I need
there probably never be another Christmas eve
been drinking eggnog like I don’t care
I’ma hurt myself before we lose Obamacare
Say goodbye to Barack, say goodbye December
for our new holiday called ‘Regular Winter’

even Kanye is endorsing him
got Obama back smoking Newports again
left the cookies and will and testament
for the first, maybe last black president there
I’m decked out in Santa gear from heard to toe
Then I noticed Papa wasn’t in his festive clothes
I said, “Dad, what’s wrong?” and he said back
“Never trust a white dude wearing no read hat.”

1 and 2: La-la-la-la-last Christmas
Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Barack still here
La-la-la-la-last Christmas
Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-before Trump next year.

[3 makes an appearance]

Speaker 3: Here I go, here I go, here I go
again girls, what’s my weakness? Joe Biden
he makes me feel funny in the Christmas brief
with his aviator shades and his big ass teeth
wanna take a freaky ride with air-trek Joe
we could share ice cream under mistle toe
so Joe, let’s snuggle up for a four year nap
And I’ll take what I want while I sit on your lap

1 and 2: Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle Barack
I do the jingle Barack
last Christmas with Obama
so hug your baby mama
I do the jingle Barack

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle Barack
I do the jingle Barack
last Christmas with Obama
so hug your baby mama
might be the very last Christmas

[Cut to video clip of Barack Obama’s mic drop]

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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