Jonah Hill
Kyle Mooney
Future
Jay Pharoah
[Starts with SNL monologue intro.]
[band is playing music one the stage]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Jonah Hill.
[Jonah Hill walks in and to the stage]
[cheers and applause]
Jonah Hill: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I’ve had such a crazy year. Wow. So much happened. I had a starring role in the ‘Hail, Caesar!’… trailer. What else? I saw Deadpool opening day. Oh, thank god! A question.
[Cut to Kyle in the audience]
Kyle: Hey, Jonah. Medium fan here. I notice you haven’t starred in a movie in a long time.
[Cut to Jonah Hill]
Jonah Hill: Well, first of all, crazy roots. Second of all, that’s not really a question, Kyle.
[Cut to Kyle]
Kyle: Okay, here’s a question. What’s it like being a movie star? I mean, can you ask one of your friends?
[Cut to Jonah Hill]
Jonah Hill: Ah! It’s really funny, Kyle. I love you videos that you make. They remind me of how much I miss Andy Samberg.
[Cut to Kyle]
Kyle: [yelling] Yeah, I miss your career!
[Cut to Jonah Hill]
Jonah Hill: I hate you so much, Kyle. Anyway, this is my fourth time hosting. So–[cheers and applause] Crazy. So, I thought I’d mix it up and we have an amazing musical guest tonight. Future! I’m such a big fan of Future. I figure I’m such a big fan of Future, let’s forget the monologue and just kick things off with a musical performance by Future featuring Drake.
[Future walks in]
Future: Drake is not here, man!
Jonah Hill: Oh, he’s not? I guess I could do it.
[Jay walks in]
Jay: Oh, no, no. I’ll do it. I’ll do it.
Jonah Hill: Get out of here. Get out of here, Jay. Nobody wants to see that. Anyway, Futs, you were insisting I should do Drake’s part?
Future: I never days that.
Jonah Hill: I guess I do know it. But… we’re gonna do this little rap. I just have one question.
Future: No, you can’t say any of the ‘N’ words.
Jonah Hill: No, of course not. I wouldn’t dream of them. I never sing them.
Future: Even when you’re alone.
Jonah Hill: Let’s do this. Jump man.
[music playing]
[Future start dancing]
[rapping] Yeah
Halloween
Taliban, Taliban
Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, them boys up to something
I just found my tempo like I’m DJ mustard
Lobster and celine for all my babies that I miss
Chicken fingers, french fries for them hoes that wanna diss
Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman,
Uh, uh, uh think I need some Robitussin
Future: Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman
Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman
I just seen the jet take off they up to something
Jonah Hill: We got a great show for you tonight. Future is here.
Future: Them boys just not bluffing them boys just not bluffing
Jumpman, Jumpman, Jumpman, them boys up to something
