Lin-Manuel Miranda Monologue

Lin-Manuel Miranda

[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Lin-Manuel Miranda.

[Lin-Manuel Miranda walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]

Lin-Manuel Miranda: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I’m Lin-Manuel Miranda. It is so great to be here in New York city. I’m first off long run performing in my Musical Hamilton which fortunately is one of the biggest hits ever on Broadway. That means most of you watching at home have no idea who I am. But if you get to New York, please come and see Hamilton. It’s such a nice escape from all the crazyness in our world right now. It’s about two famous politicians locked in a dirty, ugly, mud-slinging political campaign, escapism. Anyway, I can’t believe I’m up here right now. When I was just a kid growing up in Washington heights up in Manhattan, I dreamed about standing right here on this stage. And when I told people I was hosting SNL, they were all like, “Well, are you gonna do a song from Mahilton?” I was like, “No! Saturday Night Live. I wanna do all the SNL stuff. I wanna do all the stuff that SNL host gets to do.” You know, it takes 70 years to write a show. So I don’t know when I’m gonna be back here. So…

[music playing] [singing] I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
my name is Lin-Manuel Miranda, I am hosting SNL
and I am not throwing away my shot
I’ma go for both and do it all tonight
take a swing, pass for time, give me the ball tonight
I got a Tony and an Emmy and a Grammy yo!
But what I really want is famous person’s cameo

Damn yo! I’ma do a bunch of sketches, sometimes I’ll play the lead
give you what you need, doc the cue cards for me to read
yes indeed, tonight you’ll see me at my naughtiest and boldiest
and now I’m gonna walk into the audience

[Lin-Manuel Miranda jumps towards the audience. He has back up dancers dancing for him.]

Coz I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
This is my one big chance to bring on the dance
Coz I am not throwing away my shot

it’s time to take a shot
and yes, I’m right in my element,
who knew that Hamilton would be so topically relevant
the way these grand standing candidates be talking
they’re just a tweet away from facing off and we hawking
they keep balling, DARNC keep falling
I like it better when it’s Kate McKinnon V. Baldwin
Yeah, and so we thinking the plots, stering the pot
tonight I’m finally earning my spot
on this wall, in this hall and I’m getting a piece of it
like Miley, Tracy Morgan and this piece– [showing Donald Trump’s picture]

I’m never going to be president
I’m never going to be president
I’m never going to be president
I’m never going to be president

And I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
Yo, election’s new cycles and time with Lorne Michaels
And I am not throwing away my shot

[Lin-Manuel Miranda runs into Lorne Michaels]

Lorne Michaels: Are you having a good time?

Lin-Manuel Miranda: I’m having the time of my life, Lorne.

Lorne Michaels: Great. Any word on those Hamilton tickets?

Lin-Manuel Miranda: Oh, yeah, yeah. I’ll see what I can do. No promises though.

[Lin-Manuel Miranda walks away]

Lorne Michaels: I can do a Matinee.

Lin-Manuel Miranda: Yeah.

But seriously guys, since I was five I decided
to keep my eyes open wide waiting for Saturday Night Live
Breathe, savor it, own it,
I swear to god if I’m hosting I’m making the most of this moment
Tonight I am not throwing away my shot
I am not throwing away my shot
and as long as I remember to vote this November
I am not throwing away my shot

We got a great show. 21 Pilots is here. So, stick around. We’ll be right back.