Margot Robbie Monologue


Margot Robbie

Kenan Thompson

Leslie Jones

Cecily Strong

Pete Davidson

Aidy Bryant

[Starts with SNL monologue intro] [Cut to SNL stage] [Band is playing music]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Margot Robbie.

[Margot Robbie walks in and to the stage] [cheers and applause]

Margot Robbie: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. It is so great to be here tonight hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. And it’s great to be here in America during this election. I mean this is how you guys really do it. [audience laughing] I mean it’s– It’s nuts! I mean like, everybody just lies. It’s crazy. Um, which is why tonight I am going to be Margot Robbie00% honest with you. And just in case I ever do lie, I will be fact checking my own monologue. But don’t worry, I never lie.

[Cut to Fact Check camera. Margot Robbie is looking at the camera.]

I lie all the time. My name isn’t even Margot Robbie. It’s Margot Robert.

[Cut to main camera]

Now, some of you may know me from my movie ‘Suicide Squad’. [cheers and applause] Or, from my new indie film ‘The Millionaire’s Daughter’. [cheers and applause] Thank you. Thank you.

[Cut to Fact Check camera. Margot Robbie is looking at the camera.]

It’s not a real movie. I just made it up to see if you guys could clap and you did.

[Cut to main camera]

But seriously, Suicide Squad was such a great movie to work on. Jared Leto stating character like the whole time which was so, so fun.

[Cut to Fact Check camera. Margot Robbie is looking at the camera.]

Not fun, it was kind of uncomfortable.

[Cut to main camera]

Just, it was fun. And now I’m here hosting SNL. [cheers and applause]

Honestly, everyone has been so welcoming this week. Especially Lorne. On Monday he walked me through the whole week and told me he is huge fan of mine. That really meant a lot.

[Cut to Fact Check camera. Margot Robbie is looking at the camera.]

I’ve never really met Lorne.

[Cut to main camera]

Lorne is the best. He is–

[Kenan Thompson walks in]

Kenan Thompson: Hey, Margot.

Margot Robbie: Kenan, hi.

[cheers and applause]

Kenan Thompson: Wow. Season premiere. How cool is this? Man, I was so excited last night, I could not sleep.

[Cut to Fact Check camera. Kenan Thompson is looking at the camera.]

This is my 14th season. I slept like a baby.

[Cut to main camera] [Kenan Thompson walks out and Leslie Jones walks in]

Leslie Jones: Ay! Ay!

[cheers and applause]

I’m sorry to interrupt. I just have to say I am such a huge fan of your’s. I love you Kate Upton.

Margot Robbie: Oh. Um, Leslie, I’m not– I’m not Kate Upton. I’m Margot Robbie.

Leslie Jones: Oh! Oh, for real? I’m sorry. I’m really embarrassed.

[Cut to Fact Check camera. Leslie Jones  is looking at the camera.]

I’m not embarrassed. I’ve done way worse. I called Kate McKinnon Kate Middleton for a year.

[Cut to main camera]

Well, Margot, here’s something I do know. You and I have the same birthday.

Margot Robbie: Oh, no way. July 2nd?

Leslie Jones: Yeah.

Margot Robbie: 1990?

[Leslie Jones is angry]

Leslie Jones: Yeah!

[Cut to Fact Check camera. Leslie Jones looks at the camera and leaves without saying anything.] [Cut to main camera] [Cecily Strong walks in]

Cecily Strong: That’s my girl, Margot.

Margot Robbie: You guys. Cecily has been my best friend this week. She’s really shown me the fancy side of New York. Last night we even went to the ballet.

Cecily Strong: We did.

[Cut to Fact Check camera. Margot Robbie and Cecily Strong is looking at the camera.]

We didn’t. We went to a bar called ‘Dukies’ and got wasted.

Margot Robbie: I fell into a toilet.

Cecily Strong: And I rode a mechanical bull.

[Cecily Strong turns around to another Fact Check camera[

It wasn’t a bull. It was a guy named Beef.

[Cut to main camera] [Cecily Strong leaves and Pete Davidson walks in]

Pete Davidson: Am, hey Margot. Hey.

[cheers and applause]

Hi. Well, my name’s Pete Davidson and um, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but people say I’m like, kind of the hottie of the cast.

[audience laughing] [Cut to Fact Check camera. Pete Davidson is looking at the camera.]

What? People say that.

[Cut to main camera] [Pete Davidson leaves and Aidy Bryant walks in]

Aidy Bryant: Margot, hey. Oh, man! It has been so fun having you here this week. Honestly, I think you’re my favorite host of all time.

Margot Robbie: Aw, Aidy that is so sweet.

[Margot Robbie and Aidy Bryant hug] [Cut to Fact Check camera. Aidy Bryant is looking at the camera hugging Margot Robbie.]

Aidy Bryant: Don’t worry Drake. You’re my baby forever. I love you.

[Cut to main camera]

Margot Robbie: Anyway, we have got a great season premiere for you tonight. The Weeknd is here. So stick around and we’ll be right back.

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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