Elliot… Pete Davidson
Mikey Day[Starts with Mr. Robot intro]
Narrator: Now on USA, Mr. Robot, [Cut to clips from the movie] the award winning techno thrilling series about the paranoid mind of the world’s greatest hacker. He has already hacked the world economy. But now, he faces his greatest challenge yet.[As Elliot is sitting down using his laptop in a cafe, Leslie approaches him]
Leslie: Hey, man. You know computers?
Elliot: Yeah. Who are you?
Leslie: Oh well, that hurts. Leslie Jones? SNL? You gotta help me find out who hacked my pics. Who got all my nasties!
Narrator: The victim of the summer’s biggest hack turns the tables with the help of TV’s most notorious hacker.[Cut to Elliot and Leslie in an gaming arcade]
Leslie: I got my laptop right here in my willy bag. You do know Windows 95, right? Cool. That’s the cord. Plug that bad boy in and let it warm up for an hour.
Narrator: It’s a puzzle unlike any he’s faced before.[Elliot is on his computer and Leslie is playing games]
Leslie: Yo dude, how you doing over there?
Elliot: Still trying to get the lay of the land. So many delta are here. [The desktop has so many shortcut icons]
Narrator: It’s a job for the whole f. society team.[Cut to Margot speaking to Elliot]
Margot: What the hell, Elliot? Who is she? This is not safe. Why are you helping her?
Leslie: Yo bitch! [Leslie walks in] I do not need this right now. For real.
Margot: Okay. Yea, sorry. Sorry.
Narrator: A dive into the broken mind of an unstable genius, and the hacker she hired to help.[Cut to Elliot and Leslie]
Leslie: Come on, put my password in. P-A-S-S–[Elliot puts the password by himself]
Hey, you got it, dude! It was Password. Damn, you is good, dude!
[Cut to Mikey who is Elliot’s conscience]
Mikey: But you could be great if you didn’t let your emotions get the best of you.
Leslie: [to Mikey] Oh, well hello there.
Elliot: You can see Mr. Robot?
Leslie: So, is there a Mrs. Robot.
Elliot: No, he’s a ghost. He’s dead.
Leslie: Pfft! I ain’t afraid of no ghost.
Narrator: With a startling conclusion you won’t believe.
Elliot: Leslie, I found your hacker.[Elliot passes an envelope to Leslie. Leslie opens the envelope and pulls out a photo.]
Leslie: Who is this bitch? Oh, that’s me!
Elliot: It seems you backed up your photos to your online website. I don’t know how you did it. It’s actually really hard to do.
Leslie: Well, I go a photoshoot with M-check magazine that I’m two days late for. So, thank you for this.
Elliot: [thinking] I should probably feel something right now but I dont’.
Leslie: Hold on man! Hold on, hold on man. [Leslie holds Elliot and pulls him to his left.] This just don’t feel balanced. Good god! Alright. Get some vitamins, man! Get some sleep. Y’all millennials don’t take care of yourself.
Narrator: Bi-ba-bu-bu-bi-bop. Mr. Robot