New York Now

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Jen Jen Binks… Vanessa Bayer

Sara Hors… Sasheer Zamata

Nate Rivers… Kyle Mooney

Penny… Kate McKinnon

Ronnie… Casey Affleck

Mary Kay… Cecily Strong

Isaac… Chance the Rapper

Robin… Mikey Day

[Starts with Jen Jen Binks and Sara Hors in their set]

Jen Jen Binks: Welcome to another installment of New York now.

Sara Hors: The show where we fill you on what’s happening around the city. I’m Sara Hors.

Jen Jen Binks: And I’m Jen Jen Binks. It’s no secret when it comes to Christmas, New Yorkers know how to celebrate.

Sara Hors: That’s right. And our own Nate Rivers has a special report on a very unique nativity pageant that’s bringing the laughs to long islanders.

Jen Jen Binks: Take it away Nate.

[Cut to Nate Rivers]

Nate Rivers: Thanks, ladies. Today I’m on the set of Silent Night, HIlarious Night, a Christmas nativity pageant with a broad comedic take on the birth of Christ. Let’s take a quick look at some extremely funny highlights.

[Cut to show video]

Penny: Joseph, where have you been?

Ronnie: Well, I was just looking at the bill from the inn keeper.

Mary Kay: They gotta get out of here. [hold’s a lamb poster] I’m gonna ride home in my lamb-orghini.

Ronnie: What did the wisemen bring?

Penny: Well, they brought frankincense myrrh and peanut brittle.

[Cut to Penny, Ronnie, Mary Kay and Nate Rivers]

Nate Rivers: I”m here now with the show’s creators, Penny, Ronnie and Mary Kay.

Ronnie: Hello.

Mary Kay: Hi.

Penny: Welcome.

Nate Rivers: Your show has been getting quite a bit of buzz.

Ronnie: Oh, we know.

Mary Kay: We’re blessed.

Penny: We’re sold out almost every night.

Nate Rivers: Tell me about your pageant and what makes it so special.

Ronnie: Well, we took the story of Christ and we just blew it out.

Penny: Yeah, yeah. We kept the basic plot and then we just added tons of jokes.

Mary Kay: Tond!

Ronnie: So many jokes.

Nate Rivers: Sounds hilarious. And you act in the show as well?

Penny: Yeah, we kind of had to. You know, we had kids in it but we had to let them go. Coz the kids just have no comedic instinct. They’re not funny like us.

Mary Kay: They’re not half as funny. That’s the whole show.

Ronnie: Well, you got to get the laugh.

Penny: Yeah, yeah. So, in this show, I play Mary.

Ronnie: And I play Joseph. And I’m always saying [loudly] “My wife”, which is like from the “Borat” movie of course.

Penny: Yeah, yeah. WE borrow jokes that we like.

Mary Kay: Yeah, and my character is just like their nosy neighbor, you know? Always looking out of my window going, “What are they up to?”

Penny: Yeah, which is already funny because [gibberish] — the whole idea of a neighbor at Christ’s birth.

Nate Rivers: Wow! And you thought you were funnier than the kids?

Mary Kay: That’s right. We had to get rid of the kids.

Penny: Yeah. They weren’t funny.

Ronnie: Well, yeah. There’s this one part where she’s just giving birth to Jesus, and I look over and say, “Mary, high-five, we did it.”

Penny: And I’m like, “We? I would love to know how ‘we’ accomplished any of this.”

Ronnie: And then I say, “Don’t make me horny baby,” which is from the Austin Power’s film.

Mary Kay: [laughing] And then I come in, I look at the donkey and I say, “Talk about a jackass, right?” And you know, those are the kind of jokes that the kids enjoy but just can’t execute.

Penny: Oh, this is good, come here. My husband Isaac plays the three wise men. Look at him. Do little of your song.

[Isaac walks in. He has two other puppets wearing human clothes attached on both his sides.]

Isaac: It’s us, the three wisemen. We brought you this gift. Enjoy this. Take away, fellas.

[music playing] [singing] Da-da-da-da-da-da, three wise men
Da-da-da-da-da-da, three wise men

[Isaac walks out]

Mary Kay: Is that great or is that great?

Ronnie: Now you see, not oly can a child no perform the adult humor, but they couldn’t physically carry the puppets. So…

[Robin walks in]

Robin: Ma? Ma?

Penny: What? What Robin?

Robin: Do you have time to talk to me later?

Penny: No. I’m doing my pageant thing right now. All day.

Robin: I want to talk to you about sex and drugs.

Penny: No. Not right now.

Robin: [yelling] You’re letting me down, ma!

[Robin leaves]

Mary Kay: See? Kids! This is why they can’t be a part of what we’re doing here.

Penny: No, no. They can’t see bigger than them.

Nate Rivers: Wow! Thanks so much. I can’t believe I got through this interview with a straight face. [laughing] If you’re in the Long Island area, be sure to check out the funniest birth of Jesus you’re likely to ever see. For New York now, I’m Nate Rivers.

Ronnie: Ha-ha. [shouting] My wife!

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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