Preparation H Advanced Gel

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Jon Rudnitsky

Taran Killam

Kate McKinnon

Beck Bennett

[Starts with two couples waiting for their table in a restaurant] [Jon walks in]

Jon: Please follow me. Your table is ready.

[As everyone walk towards the table, Ron stops.]

Kate: You coming?

Ron: I’ll be there in a second. You go on ahead.

Kate: Okay.

[Beck is looking Ron from behind]

Beck: Hey, man. Hurts to sit down?

Ron: Ah, yeah.

Beck: Burns?

Ron: Yeah.

Beck: You need to try this.

[Beck gives Ron a small package of gel]

It’s a Preparation H Advanced Gel for fast acting relief.

Ron: And this stuff works?

Beck: Yeah. It works.

Male voice: Preparation H Advanced Gel offers maximum strength solutions fo all hemorrhoid symptoms. Don’t let pain stop you from being

[Cut to the two couple enjoying their meal at the table]

Ron: So I loosen my tie, and now I am dancing with the mother of the bride.

[Everyone laughs] [Beck walks in]

Beck: Hey, man. Did that stuff I gave you help your butt?

Ron: Excuse me?

Beck: The hemorrhoid cream I gave you at the bar. Did it end up helping your butt?

Ron: [whispering] What are you doing?

Beck: Your butt was on fire when we met.

[Beck walks away]

Male voice: Preparation H Advanced Gel. Because you’re on the move and in the groove.

[Cut to Ron and Kate dancing]

Kate: What’s got into you? I’ve never seen you dance before.

Ron: Well, you better get used to it coz I have a feeling I’m gonna be dancing a whole lot more from now on.

[Ron looks at the camera and winks] [Beck walks in]

Beck: Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you. You need any more ass cream?

[Ron’s friends stop dancing and are looking at Ron]

Ron: Dude, honestly get away from me.

Beck: I gave you a hot tip and you pretend like you don’t even know me? I saved your bacon, man! [Ron’s friends are looking at them and they are confused] Yeah Ron Head hemorrhoid problem, I do too. Bad. [Beck looks at the camera] That’s why I told Ron about Preparation H. [smiles]

Male voice: Preparation H, the re–

[Cut to Beck]

Beck: Hey, Ron, come with me. I gotta put more cream on.

Ron: What?

Beck: I need you to stand in front of the bathroom door. There’s no lock on the door and a girl just walked in on me laying down on the ground with her legs over my head creaming up.

Ron: I am not doing that.

Beck: You’re my best friend.

Male voice: Preparation H. Hemorrhoids fade, friends are forever.

[Beck pulls Ron to the toilet]

Beck: Come on. Stop crapping around.

 

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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