Nate… Beck Bennett
Kyle Mooney
Vanessa Bayer
Cecily Strong
Woody balloon… Mikey Day
Madeline balloon… Kristen Wiig
Clown balloon… Bobby Moynihan
[Starts with short video clip of Macy’s parade]
[Cut to Nate with his friends at an apartment. There are two kids playing.]
Nate: So, does this beat thanksgiving in Pennsylvania or what?
Kyle: You know, it’s really nice. Thanks again for having us.
Nate: Hey, when my baby brother says Rugrats want to come to Unkie Nate’s apartment and see the parade balloons up close, I answered with a resounding, “No, prob.” But seriously, how about this pad, huh? Damn! Would you kill for this place or what?
Vanessa: It’s really something, Nate. I don’t even want to know how much you paid for this place.
Nate: And… I don’t wanna tell you. [laughing] But it’s $28,500 a month.
[Cecily walks in]
Cecily: Alright, that’s enough, Nate!
Nate: Oh, look who finally decided to join the living? Sleep well, Tess?
Cecily: You know what? It’s just too early for like, the full ‘Nate’ right now. Okay? [to the kids] Hey you guys, did I miss the balloons?
Vanessa: Oh, no. I think they’re starting now.
Kyle: [to the kids] Ooh, guys, hey look. It’s Woody from Toy Story.
[Woody balloon flies outside the apartment.]
Vanessa: Oh, my gosh. Look, you guys. Oh, wow, he’s right there. Say hi to Woody, kids. Oh, my god. Hey, this is so incredible.
Nate: I know, right? It’s even got steam shower.
Cecily: She’s not talking about the apartment, Nate.
Nate: She should be, it’s sick.
Vanessa: Oh, look! I think another balloon is coming.
Kyle: Oh, yes. it’s Madeline.
[Madeline balloon flies outside the apartment.]
Vanessa: Oh my gosh! She’s my favorite. You guys, I used to love those books.
[the balloon turns toward them]
Kyle: Hi! Guys! Hi, Madeline.
Vanessa: Hi. Um, is she getting closer?
Kyle: Yeah, um, you know what? It’s probably just the wind.
Vanessa: Um, does that normally happen, Nate?
Nate: I don’t know. I usually go to the Islands for thanksgivings, but um… [gets scared of the balloon as it’s too close] Whow!
Kyle: It’s okay, kids. It’s just a little windy and that makes it hard for the people on the ground to control the balloons.
[Madeline balloon passes. A clown ballon comes in.]
Nate: Oh my god! Oh, no!
Vanessa: Ah! It’s horrifying.
Kyle: It’s just one of those vintage balloon. Vintage balloons, they’re bringing back this year, guys.
Vanessa: I don’t know if I like seeing the balloons so close.
[Woody balloon and Madeline balloon also comes in]
Kyle: Wait, it seem to be sort of… they’re bunching up together. What’s happening?
Nate: Yeah. Yeah. I see the hold up. Kristen Chenoweth is singing some sort of song down there.
Vanessa: Oh, okay, let’s go by uncle Nate. Maybe you can see better. Okay? Let’s go right over here.
[Vanessa pulls their kids to another corner. As they move, the balloons turn their heads wherever they’re moving.]
Are they following us?
Cecily: Alright, um, yap. Yap, they’re definitely following us.
Vanessa: Honey, the kids are scared. Can you–
Kyle: Yes. Yes. Of course. I know they’re kind of scary up close, okay? But there is nothing to be afraid of.
Vanessa: Why don’t these balloons just leave.
[The other balloons are gone. But now, there’s a girl in Madeline balloons hand.]
Is that stupid song done yet?
Nate: Oh, man! Somebody got tangled up in Madeline’s cables.
[The girl is screaming]
Cecily: Oh my god! Is that Kristen Chenoweth?
Vanessa: Oh, that poor woman. She is so small.
Kyle: Kids, kids, Kristen Chenoweth is going to be fine. Okay?
[Kristen Chenoweth falls]
Okay, you know. Um, let’s go. Let’s go to bedroom and watch TV. Come on. Let’s go. Let’s go.
Nate: So much for defying gravity.
Cecily: Nate!
[Woody balloon and clown balloon are tangled together like they’re having sex.]
Nate: What the hell is happening.
[The End]
