Vanessa Bayer
[Starts with six men watching the game and celebrating the scores]
Vanessa: My husband and his friends love to watch the big game. But all their cheering and shouting can make them pretty hungry.
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
That’s why I love Totino’s Pizza Rolls. The only game time snack that satisfies my hungry guys. And Tortino’s Pizza Rolls aren’t just delicious. They’re also easy to make. Simply–
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
Wow, there really is a lot happening fast in this big game. So this Super Bowl–
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
–why not treat your hungry guys–
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
–to the delicious taste of Tortino’s.
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
If they’re anything like my hungry guys–
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
–they’ll love these cheesy bites–
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
–more than their favorite team.
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
[microwave sound]
[Vanessa brings in the Tortino’s Pizza Rolls to the guys]
Guys, the Tortino’s are ready. Hope I’m not interrupting the big game.
[The guys are staring at the TV but the TV is off.]
There’s nothing on the TV. The screen is completely black.
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
Steven! What’s going on! What have you guys been shouting at this whole time?
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
[Vanessa drops all the Tortino’s Pizza Rolls]
Okay, ha-ha. Very funny, Steven.
[Vanessa picks up scissors]
Cut it out!
[Vanessa’s husband and friends yelling]
Why are you doing this? Britney! Get in the car!
[Vanessa’s husband and friends shout and look at Vanessa. Their eyes are all black.]
What’s happening to my hungry guys?
[Cut to The X Files video bumper]
Male voice: The X Files, new episodes, Mondays at eight.
